Guess wat time i slpt?6am...
hehe..woke up at 9..whoo..a record for my whole entire lifetime..haha..not gonna do it again..
It sux..First, complexion gets really bad..2nd, Become panda..3rd,very stoned..
But well it still din stop me from singing non stop..
And this time i sat from 11 all the way to 4 without even stepping out of the room to go to the toliet..
Another record..lol..Den dunno y i seem so excited abt singing tat i din feel cold at all..
This time me and Qin sang mostly english songs..And damn they change the whole thingy..But i'm glad they add in a few new songs..hehe..Only dunno how to use the remote control..
So after tat i followed qin to bugis..She wanted to buy a skirt, but i guess she couldn't really find wat she looking for.
So she went off to tampinese while i go and meet Lena to go help Qin collect her olevel cert..
hehe..Was really hungry tat i couldn't stop eating..After that, we went down to SP to have a look ..?i dunno..Wanted to buy bubble tea, but the sch din have..So we bought pokky and green tea to share..
Wanted to make our way home but couldn't when we actually took the wrong bus..
Ter was this gal really pretty..but dunno y she can't take her damn eyes off me..?
She keeps looking at me..dunno out of admiration or am i weird..?
Maybe i too cute for her liao..haha..k..Qin has been commenting tat my skin has grew thicker..
So yeah..we sat all the way to jurong den hop on the next bus and sat there for nearly 2 hrs..
It was damn long ride..I woke up and thought i was at toa payoh when i realise i was only at clementi..
But we were listening to my hard work tat kept me up the whole night...
K..just received a msg from belle..a sweet one..heheh..Love ya too my darlins..***mUaCk***
Tomolo going genting liao..Can't wait man..
Take care pple..I'll be back soon..Dun miss me too much ;)

Hi pple..
I'm back here to share my monday wif ya all..haha..Any audiences?
I woke up quite late abt 10 plus..
watch the olypmic..and ate my breakfast cum lunch..
Den rush out to holland v for a grp project..
haha..guess where we held it at..?At a really posh cafe..
Okie environment was really great..
It called Essentials o'Brew..Y i love tat place..Cos it everything abt me..It has Jasmine everywhere..
Jasmine in the food and drinks and deserts as well..haha..
yep..Was a long discussion..Den it makes me realise tat i am really lost..
I dun even noe wat going on..So did a little catch up..
Den Gianna bf gave me and lilin a ride down to orchard.
I met Eddy..We went to HANS..I ate roast chicken wif ham..
He just had a coke..den we had a long talk..
He taught me how to use bluetooth..lala..den we were like looking at all the funny names tat the devices detected...eg:mao mao cat, candy, james, burger kings...
Den we walked ard..And make our way to hmv..Hear alot of songs and found one really nice song tat suit my feelings (don't want ya back by Eamon)
Den was looking ard for the tempting heart vcd..But found out ter no more stock liao..so sad...=(
Den found S.E.N.S cd..Oh man really wanted it so badly..Den eddy promise me he will get it for me next week..thanks..
Den ter was one of the cd tat cost $65..tats damn fuckin exp for just 15 songs..
Was makin our way home..When i saw two guys playing the guitar..They were singing Hotel Califlornia..
Den i stood ter for a while and hear them sing the next song..
I saw a book, i was curious so i took a look..And in that book they wrote down all the nice old songs..
I make a special request..I asked them to sing "Sorry seems to be the hardest word"..
den i stood ter and sing wif them..Was really happy..Neva felt so free and happy..for so long..
But i had to go cos it getting late..
Eddy went to buy a cheeseburger..Den we got on the crowded bus..
haha..Den to my surprise..he actually shouted "hey there alot of spaces, can ya all pls move down.."
Make me so paiseh..haha..but i somehow like it..Is that kind of craziness..okie i'm crazy..
But when he came and stood and started talking to me..everyone was like staring at me..
haha..
Yep..Thanks Eddy for being such a wonderful person and accompany me..
Cos ter something that i can finally write now tat is not depressing..
I'll be happy..Is really not tat bad to be single i realise..

Hope tomolo will be betta..Going kbox wif qin again..

I've been sad for long..
Been really depressed..
If love is so bitter..
den i rather not have it..
I want be single..
Love is not everything after all..
My life is..
I'm not gonna be affected by love anymore..
I going to forget you..
I need to start revising, start to realise that i've been lost for a very long time..
Time is precious but i've wasted it..
All bcos of LOVE..
Is it worth it..?
You lead ur own life, i lead mine..
From now on, we have nothing to do wif each other.
And even if it hurts, i going to work every min to rid u off my mind..
I gonna have to grab a hold of myself..
I've been fooling ard too much..
spend too much money too..
Wasting too much time..
So gonna start studying for once..
Start being serious..
I want to be a good nurse..
But how can i be one when i dunno enough..
Sure i can pass wif flying colours for all my theories..
But when it comes to practical, i sux..
So i have been letting my self down..
Now no matter wat, i want to change everything that i am,
gonna change to everything tat i wasn't..
But i dun have enough time..only hoping that i could still catch up..
GOD HELP ME PLS..

Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be together
Cannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not say
What we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you

Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer longed

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

How can I not love you
When you are gone

It feels so right..But its wrong..
I cannot do this..
I have to go..
I'm sorry..
I love ya and i miss ya so badly..
But i cannot have ya..
Just what kind of love is this..
If a person is meant to be yours, he will be yours..
No matter how much you try to gave him away..
No matter how long or how apart ya two are..
No matter wad happens..
Even if everyone objects,
He will still be ter just for you..
Just the only one for you..
Rememeber this..
If we are meant to be together..
Fates will always allow us to be..
In time to come..
Will i be your gal..?
wIll you be mine man?

ter will be a full moon tonight,
so for those who loves looking at full moon..
look up at the sky tonight...=)

My day is great wif ya..
I dunno when i c ya again..
But ya will always be in my heart..
Ya will always be wif me.;)

Just like an angel
You came and told me those words
Thanx for the words..
For It took away all my pain.
All the pain i thought i knew disappear..
Just by three words..
I could slp again.
My nightmares are gone.
Thanx (ya noe who you are)

i'm sinkin'..
But i'm holding on..
No matter what
I wun fall..

Thanks buddy..ya are still here for me..For after my countless breakup..U r always ter consoling me..
telling me things that makes me moved on..
I know ya can't always be ter for me,but i promised that i'll keep myself moving on..
Ya showed me how is it to walk..But i know it just whether i want to take that extra courage to take my first step..

Take a bow,
the night is over.
This masquerade is getting older...
lights are low, the curtains down.
There's no one here.
Say your lines,
but do you feel them?
do you mean what you say..when there's no one around?
Watching you watching me
One lonely star
you don't know who you are
i've always been in love with you(always with you)
i guess you've always known its true
you took my love for granted
why oh why
this show is over say goodbye
say goodbye
make them laugh
it comes so easy
when you get to the part where you're breaking my heart
hide behind your smile
all the whole world loves a clown
wish you well
li cannot stay
you deserve an award for the role that you play
no more masquerade
you're one lonely star
(one lonely star you don't know who you are)
all the world is a stage
and everyone has their part
but how was i to know which way the story goes
how was I to know you'd break
you'd break..
you'd break my heart

Love was a game ya played,won and walked away smiling happily..
Love was a drama for ya..A role that ya play and disappear when the show is over..
Wat can i say..
Ya a good actor..
Gotta get away from ya..
It only a matter of time that i will moved on..
Just gave me a little more time and i will be gone

Well she can’t sleep at night
And she can’t do what’s right
It was all because he came into her life
It’s a deep obsession,
taking up her time
He's all that she wants,
he’s all that she needs
He's everything she just won’t believe
Take away her doubt,
turn her inside out
Then he can see what she’s been dying to say
But things don’t’ always turn out that way
And now He's gone
never comin back
And she must confess
All the impure thoughts of her prince charming
Although she keeps it all bottled up inside
Although she keeps it all safe within her mind
Every second
Every minute
And everyday
Its killing her slowly
Day by Day
She wears a mask of happiness
Just so that his guilt could be relieved
Just so that it'll seemed like everything's ok

I dunno ya anymore..
I can't recognise that gal anymore..
What happen to those smiles?
What happen to those Eyes..?
Who are you?
Yet ya r still called the same name as me..haiZ

I dunno if it good or bad..But i went to cut my hair..The person change my hair totally..
I dun look like my old self anymore..
And the thing is that i've to learnt to style..haiz
Luckly got belle to accompany..**muack muack**love ya lotsa..
I reach school on time (fInalLy)..sat tru one boring lesson again..
Den was feeling abit sick liao..still am though..dunno wat happen..
Went to grab a sandwich..Den went to do research for psycho project
Went to eat wif belle..and took the chance to meet up wif my darling..hehehe..Love ya babe.I be missin ya.
So now i'm wondering wat would everyone say if they see this boring gal wif a boring look starts to style her hair..?
LaUgh?wateva..i dun feel like myself anymore..
Okie talk abt something more happier and worth rememebering..
Yesterday went out wif ya..Watch alien and predator..
Was quite a retarded but entertaining movie..haha..
thanks for following me all da way to skool to see my darlin..
I dunno if u changed urself to suit me but i felt a change anyway..had a great time wif ya..haha..
Somehow i think of the way i am, i truly have to admit i'm just a little gal..But yet u still can love me for that little irritating gal i am..yeah wat to say..ya r God yeah..

Song of tHe daY: She WilLed Be LoVed..
This song somehow reminded me of ya..But i'm sorry..Even if u could love me..I couldn't..
Y my life so Fcuked up..Y can't i just loved someone who loves me too..

I dun want to awake
to find my midnight sun
a sobering meteorite crushed
in my palm.

I dun want to awake
to truths still true
and lies still false
and life somehow still unreconciled

I dun want to awake
to sleep that ends
and the need for sleep
that will awaken the end

I dun want to awake
to you wingless and mortal,
a human angel
Fading with the last starlight.

sorry pple..It still abit TOrn..
Today was really a tired day..Was really restless..Can;t keep still even for 5 min..
Came late for tutorial..Cos i can't wake up..den take cab AGAIN to sch..
Met Qin at her Block..haiz..if i had known someone was ter i wun go liao..
But nvm..take it that i seeing the last of your damn face which in fact i dunno y i just dun want to look..
cos i dun want to see any expression from u..Be it a smirk or wateva..Laugh at me for all u want..
It just really sad that one failed relationship could make two pple become strangers or enemies..
Whateva..I can't be bother..
Today bio pract was relaxing..Belle was "decorating" on her bio book wif nothing but pink colour..Wif the words "devil" inside out..
Den she very nice..her bf take cab to the sch den as well gave me a ride to my house..
Thanks lot yeah..Love ya baby..**muack**
Gonna catch some slp den go out wif my ****....
I am still bored..damn bored..Someone take away my boredom..Pls..bleah...

On sunday night i couldn't stop msging this new guy that step into my life..
Love him so much..Wat can i say..
Slept late, so woke up late..Den almost couldn't wake up..haha
So have to take a taxi down..
Receive a call from you(was really surprise)..Went down to see ya.Boy, ya still look as cute as eva.I'm happy we still can be frens or maybe even closer..
Wat should i say abt a good love that has gone..?But thinking, looking at you gaves me a sweet bitter feeling.
I'm happy..for me and for ya..So as i think back.i really dunno if it good or bad..Hard to say..
went for my 2 hr clinical lab..It was nothing but hypocount..So boring..
Den after eating my yong tau fu..qin came to find me..
Den i follow her go and eat..Saw Chloe and her cute bf..
Den dunno y just can't stop talking abt ya again..Haiz..
Qin was telling me that some things are betta to be gave up so that new things can come in..
Went wif her to her discussion room..And saw ivan there..haha
Den i called belle and Jackie to check out where they r..Den we sat together in lect.
They fall aslp in lect while i was bz noticing this really cute guy sitting 3 seats away from me..
Dunno wat really attracts me..Cos i hadly get attracted to pple tat long one lo..
Was thinking was it the way u walk, look or how gentle ya were..haha..I figure it was most probably bcos ya r musically talented..
Ya sat tru the whole lect, figuring the scores..a homework yeah..
But after that lect ya left..I left too..
Went home, charge my batt and mp3..
Den went to sb chalet..which was at pasir ris
So again Good or Bad hard to say..
when i went ter, i felt so sad..I thought of all the bad and good times..
I thought of how hard ya tried to make me happy..how i always push ya away and criticises everything that ya are.and den when everything is over..There are the sweet times..
So the good thing is that i got food to eat..Haha..I and Lena was putting the sauages on the stick while sb was cooking for us..Den ter was this little highness called Megan..Really pretty princess i must say..
Haha..I eat like dunno how many sauages..
And i spent the whole night back to msging you again..
But this time i slept early..

Sometimes in life..When everything turns out bad..Do not always assume that its really that bad for ya dunno wat ya might have next..Remember that the grass might not be greener on the other side..
When i think of ya..I noe i have nothing to lose..Nothing that i really gain either..Ya r just some passerby..That maybe not even worth remembering.
The memories we had..I treasured it..But it not going to change anything now or in the future.
We might not even be able to become friends..Maybe strangers..
So good or Bad.I still dunno..

FoRgIvE sOmeoNe
WhO's HuRt YoU In tHe pAsT
TaKe a FoRgiVenEsS TeSt
PraY FoR tHaT pErsOn
And wIshed Him alL tHe blesSinG YoU caN tHinK oF.

Forgiveness test:60%
You appear to be a happy medium on the forgiveness scale. You are able to let go of certain hurts and screw-ups, but draw the line at other behavior. Chances are you have established boundaries for what you can and cannot forgive, or you simply operate on a case-by-case basis. If someone, example, does not show any remorse for hurting you or has potential to do the dirty deed again, you don't let them off the hook so easily. If, on the other hand, they are willing to work on rebuilding your trust and show respect for your feelings, you might soften up. This is a reasonable approach, as long as you allow yourself to truly forgive others - not simply brush things under the carpet. We are all human and thus imperfect and need a bit of compassion from time to time... but we also need limits.

BlesSings fOr ya..
I wished that you can be with the gal you love..
I wished that ya will experience true love one day
I wished one day ya will see that you r meant to be loved and not to be alone..
I wished ya will never get cheated in love.
I wished that your life will be 100% happier without me.
I wished You the best in everything ya do.
I wished that God would protect you from all the malices.
and the list goes on..

I believed that forgiveness is the key to all unhappiness.
Love forgives,it does not bear grudges.

Here a song for ya..
Michelle branch~ Are ya happy now
Now, don’t just walk away
Pretending everything’s ok
And you don’t care about me
And I know there’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don’t care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now,
ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I’m leaving you with all the blame cause I don’t care,
yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you’re happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you really have everything you want?
You could never give somethin' you ain't got
You can’t run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you're happy now,
yeah, yeah
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now?
Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?
Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?

I’ve had that all I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I’m happy now,
ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?

Forget his name
Forget his face
Forget his kiss
His warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Forget him when they played your song
Remeber when you cried all night long
Forget how close you two once were
Remember he has chosen her
Forget you memorized his walks
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the things he used to say
Remeber he has gone away
Forget his laughter
Forget his grin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he's with her tonight
Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that moved
Forget he said he'd leave you never
Remember he's gone forever

I wun say i'm not sad,but i'm not angry..
I dun want ya to tell me ya r sorry..Cos the fact tat ya hurt me is ter..If ya really sorry abt me den dun even hurt me in the first place yeah..
At least when i told ya that i'm sorry..I noe tat i did try but ya din want it..ter nothing i can do..
And yeah ya sorry only tells me how much ya really love me..
I have known the truth all the while..But i just dun wanna say..I tolerate everything just to see if it my fault..
And i am proud to say that though i lost but what i had is the truth..When i love ya..I really did love ya..i din cheat myself..din cheat you.Though i noe it my fault for raking the past..
It hurts but it gonna make me stronger..I have lost but i gain many lessons from this..
Wat have ya gain except for the stupid fact that ya r betta off being single..which in fact was just an excuse.
A betta reason is cos ya neva love me..And being wif me must have really killed ya i guess..I am scary huh..so wat i'm a weird and totally diff person when night comes..But the fact is that ya dun understand me at all(which u admit).
a gal used to told me that when a gal tells a guy breakup it means that she is insecure..I'm all the while insecure wif ya..but i dun wanna say "lets breakup" cos i dun want to ruin everything tat fast.And i really tried to be the best first love for ya ..but i failed horribly
And yeah dun think that i'm totally blinded to wateva shit that ya did out ter..Cos rem wateva thing ya do wrong will come to light one day..
So dun ask me if i'm sad..Cos my heart is breaking..
But i wun cry..I din cry..cos i'm free
But no matter wat, i noe u wun regret the choice ya made..and to tell ya the truth..I am glad that i can moved on..Giving ya up is just another step to find someone betta.
Look..I'm writing all this is not to say it ur fault..
Just want ya to noe that love is not suppose to be some game to be played like this..
If ya really love a person, ya will naturally treat her well..But if for some reason ya find that ya dun treat her well enugh and she complaining den maybe it time to ask urself if ya really love her..But if ya dun..u gonna hurt her..
So before u really think u like or even love someone..Ask ur self again..
And hope that whoeva is the next luckly gal, i hope ya to stop foolin around wif ur gal buddies..
Rem wat i told ya in the start..Once u in love..U should noe where to draw a line clear..which u din..
Yeah sure wateva u did wif them was for fun..But rem how does it feel likes if the gal u love goes ard kissing, huggin and holding another guy's hand..it not fun anymore..And has it even occur to ya y i neva quest ya?
Can't blame ya..ya still innocent..still doesn't know wat really love..But ya see..I dun either..
This is not just for the guy who broke my heart, but those jerks,bastards, bitches and pple who treat love like a game..

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Yesterday went kbox wif qin..It was quite sad that we couldn't stay longer ..
Den we went to shop ard..Haha saw alot of things i wanted to buy..many clothes out ter that i simply love.
Den Alvin came..we sat outside this restuarant..Settle our breakup within a few min..Which was (i must say )the coolest breakup i eva had.=)
den we hang ard..Saw certain 'thing" or wateva u called it..Oh man, i was scared to death..
I really hate seeing all this things..i thought everything was gone..But it like they r back..i dun wanna freak pple out wif the things i saw..Dun want act like some crazy gal either..but i can't help it..
I realise that i am someone who is very weak..Just wanna be stronger..

Well like always..here a song..

Madonna~yOu'Ll see

You think that i can't live without your love
You'll see
You think i can't go on another day
You think i have nothing
Without you by my side
You'll see
Somehow, some way.
You think that i can never laugh again
you'll see
You think that you destroyed my faith in love
You think after all you've done
I'll never find my way back home
You'll see
Somehow, someday.
chorus:
All by myself
I don't need anyone at all
I know i'll survive
I know i'll stay alive
All on my own
I don't need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You'll see.
You think that you are strong,
but you are weak
You'll see
It takes more strengh to cry, admit defeat
I have truth on my side
You only have deceit
You'll see,
somehow, someday.
Chorus
You'll see,
You'll see
You'll see,
mmmm, mmmm

Hi=)
ya see i thought my day would have turn out horrible, boring and lonely like how it used to be..
But well guess wat..Everything turn out fine..
first..I dye my hair RED..Den it turn out not too bad on me..
Den i got Eddy to help me go down to change my appointment so i wun get a scolding..
Den when i thought i had miss one lect..I lied tat i did scan my card and in the end i was marked present.
Den i managed to grab a bite wif belle..Hahah just one milo and i'm full..So weird yeah
Den had a great fun making jokes abt my bio teacher..Haha he look like mr bean so i call him beany..
Met eddy and had lunch wif belle and jackie..
Den i went off to see some martial art thingy..Met gillian on the way..She looks prettier somehow..
Came late for lab..And shack tru out..Only pay attention when the lect gave ans to all the quest..
Den sweet eddy waited for me for 2 hrs to send me home..
Den here i am..Toking to yan..haha..
Hmm i miss ya chloe darlin..Hope ya get to see this..i miss the crazy fun we had..One day must go ur house slp over yeah..
and today i received news tat hong juan,wang na and huijiao and shafiq is going wif us...
yey..More pple more fun..
I'm so happy..Wanna keep myself happy this way..
Before i go..Just wanna tell my darling how much i love and miss him
Sorry for all the misunderstanding i cause..
Hope everything can go back to where it was just fun and laughter wif u..
neva mind if u dunno how to be a gd bf..I can teach ya yeah..Anyway u dun need to..Cos ya r already..

Jasmine ("v") Ashita

Wat do ya do when ur life is f**ked up..
Ur love is ***k up..
When ur nights are cold..
And ya wake up feeling worried and scared..
When ya need someone to hug ya and tell ya everything is alright...
Ur morning is lonely and cold..
The phone is slient..

I woke up feeling this way for like the past two nights.
decided that my life is so screwed up..
Dunno wat excitement i could probably bring into my life..
So at 9am
I decided that it..Colours..
gonna bring colours in..
wanna shock everyone when i go to sch..haha..Okie i am crazy..
Wat next..i wonder if my life still so dead..?
an extra earhole..?
or a manicure..?
My dad had an accident yesterday..
He tripped bang his head on some thing and sprain his ankle..And now he like limping..Lookin at him last night pains me..But yesterday was so fucked up for me that i din even thought of him..until late at night i saw him limpin..
Sad..i'm a bad gal..A bad daughter..
My mum woke me up and tell me to take care of him..I wish i could..So now he awake..
I just made him some breakfast..Hope he take it..
I still have to rush off at 11 to change my dental..Wat the freaking hell wif me..I gonna get a scolding for sure one lo..
Wateva..My life is already screwed..How much more worst it can be..I really dunno..
Tomolo is kbox..yeah..Party for me..=)

My mind is confused,
I no longer know what to say.
My heart is breaking,
It breaks a little more each day.
My spirit is dying,
Theres no joy left to be found.
My soul is empty,
I feel as cold as the winters ground.
My body is aching,
I feel myself growing so weak.
My eyes are drying,
There are no tears rolling down my cheek.
Whats next?
Im afraid to know.
Do i have the strength to keep fighting,
Or should i just let go?
My knees start to weaken
At the first sight of your face
My heart starts to melt
At the thought of your embrace
Your love flows through me
Like a river flows down its path
Your kiss lifts me up so high
I could probably fall to my death
I really wish that
When I looked into your eyes
I could see
Exactly how it is that
You feel about me
I get nervous when you're around me
I feel I could cry when you're away
I dream about you
Every night and day
I want you to know
My last three words will always remain true
Regardless of what I may say or do
You'll always know that
I love you.

I guess it was too much to ask.
If only you really loved me
It wouldnt be such a hard task.
Its so hard to talk to you
Without feeling this sharp pain.

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Today was late for like 1/2 an hour and yeah gianna and pat din come..
Y?cause they thought it was a comp lab lesson..Haha..Wateva..Lilin y din u tell them..
Sigh watever..I feel like friends are not really friends sometimes..
The world is so hypocritical..y..?i dunno..I am becoming one too..
I dun be able to seem to be able to trust love and friendship anymore..Yeah..Sad huh..
So i went down wif jackie and belle to taka and have seoul garden..
We had a long talk abt everything and it makes me feel betta..After feeling so down tat i can't even slp..
And yeah we plan all the things we wanna do in genting..Clubbing,kbox,theme park and even spa..
haha but tat means more $$
I really wanna do all this cos it only once a yr..Life is short..Gotta enjoy it to the fullest..
Maybe gotta get a job..keep myself bz and not bothering abt anything tat gonna hurt me anymore..
Just now was talking to eddy..And i acted like i dun care..acted like love was a game..But it really breaks my heart..
Each time i knew i was just acting..Den when i saw wat ur fren wrote..It breaks even more..Send ya a msg but ya neva reply..
Neva mind maybe ya really bz.


roNanKeatIng~tHeLonGoodbYe
I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say
if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill(climbin' up a hill)
[Chorus]
This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me
why Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye
Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
I turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up insideJ
ust to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on a carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?
(on a wing and prayer)
[Chorus]
This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over,
Let's face it
All that's happening here is the long goodbye
[Chorus x2]
The long goodbye
The long goodbye
This is the long goodbye
Someone please tell me why
Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Guess I'm never coming back again

Gee..i hate myself..Y must i make things happen this way before i can be happy..
Y?
I hate myself..All i just wanted to see myself upset and lonely..Y can't i be happy..?
Why must i want so much things..?
y do i've to ask for so much things from a person..Isn't love suppose to be simplified..?
Isnt love suppose to be perfect by nature..?i'm so hurt by myself..
All this while i thought he was hurting me, ya were hurting me, everyone was hurting me..But it only all boils down to me..Me..ME!!!
I used to think that my happiness lies in other pple hands..But now i realise that whether you are sad,happy or angry is wateva u made urself to be..
We promise we will go and think..And while i think..This is wat i thought of..So i pinning it down..
I dunno how long it takes..My heart is breaking..But i gonna be strong..
And yeah,like ya say..Dun be sad..
Oh this little ger is growing..finally!
i'm just so FcuKed up..Yeah a FcUked up ger..

Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all
their friends are having fun with their beloved half.

Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.
Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now. (bothsigh n silence for a while)
Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a game
Peter: Eh? What game?
Tina: Eem..It's quite simple. You be myboyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100days. what do you think?
Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don't have any plan forthe next few months.
Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward to it at all. Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?
Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.
Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Lets move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)
Day 2:Peter and Tina went to a concert together, andPeter bought Tina a keychain with a star.
Day 3:They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.
Day 7:Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grassgazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by.Tina mumbled something.
Day 25:Spend time at a theme park and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy.Peter and Tina got in the haunted house andTina grabbed someone's hand instead of Peter's hand by accident. They laughed together for a while.
Day 67:They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to playapart as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she justsaid "Treasure every moment from now on"and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.
Day 84:Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.
Day 99:They decided to have a simple day and is decidingto have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.
1:23 pm
Tina: I'm thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks.What would you like?
Tina: Eem...Apple juice will be just fine.
1:43 pm
Tina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.
Stranger: Is your name Tina?
Tina: Yes, and may I help you?
Stranger: Just now down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter.Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.
11:51 pmDoctor: I'm sorry, but we did the best we could.He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears.
Here is what the letter said:"Tina, our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you."
11:58
Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! ILOVE YOU, but can you come back to me now? Iloveyou Peter. I LOVE YOU.
As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.
Send this to EVERYONE you love or hate...just
Everyone that has taken a part in your life.
Tell the guy or girl that you love them beforeits too late. You never know whats going to happen tomorrow. You never know who will be leaving you and never return..

Sorry..i have no guts to tell u tru the phone..But here it is..Iloveya..I wish i could be wif u too..I miss ya..I realise it my fault..Wun u come back..?;(

yep..everything is gone..This fast..
Sometimes i think back and wonder whether i was really abnormal..Is it my fault..
all the guys i am wif always end up feeling tired..Am i really that bad..Maybe i am..
Ya told me i should go and think y..Yeah and i did..
Just now i wasn't really frank wif you..what I wanted was ur time, attention and love..
But nvm ya can't give me..i also dun want drain ya out..
But nvm..maybe i shouldn't even be in a relationship..I'm not strong enugh and definately not prepared enugh..

Here a song to cheer myself up..

SinGle Life By sAriNa Paris...

sometimes i really feel like breaking down..But i noe i gotta be strong..This time i am not gonna confide in anyone anymore..
I just want to be alone..Sit tru everything..
Maybe being single is good..Is not necessary to be in this thing called love..
Pple tells me i am too immature..Maybe it really time i grow up..
Yeah i just want to grow up..Be myself..i gotta find myself back..
everytime i hear this song "crazy baby"by fantasy proj neat F_D_A
i thinked of you..Will u come for me..?
But i wun give ya a chance cos i noe ya wun be able to love me like u promised ya will..I'm sorry maybe we r just meant to be buddies..
And terrence..Wat the meaning that if i too small in size means i can't go clubbing..If my appearance have something wif the word immature den ya r immature too..
Everyone needs to go grow up..ya be surprise even a 20plus yr old person needs to grow up too..
I'm lovin myself..I lovin all my frens,i'm lovin my family and lastly i'm lovin`you(rem tat)..

i'm so lazy...i dun wanna go dental..sigh..is ter any nice pple out ter go wif me..??
waste money again..cos woke up late and gotta take a taxi..Den was almost late cos the freaking taxi just wun stop for me..It suck taking taxi in the m0rning sia..
Today ter was a presentation on memory..And i gianna,lilin and pat was like a bunch of mad pple..Haha...
yep..Den i was force to go and play the memory game..Wasn;t even listening so i anyhow write any numb..
cos over heard jackie say got alot of '8' den i also copied some of hers..
haha..
feeling so lazy..Y is my life so boring..I'm yearning for some fun some excitment..i hate it when ter nothing much going on..Yesterday night was toking to ping, terrence and yan..We were crapping but yeah after much crapping i felt much betta..A pity my mum starting to ground me..She thinks i slp too late..Sigh not like i slp at 2 or 3 am yeah..So yeah pple next time after 10 i can;t be online anymore..

Terrence u claim this is a nice song and yeah its indeed not bad..
dear i send u the song one day k..=)***muack* love ya lotsa**
So i'm gonna put it here..

Im Sturtz durch Raum und Zeit, Richtung Unendlichkeit…
Fliegen Motten in das Licht, genau wie du und ich…
Wrap your fingers ‘round my neck.
You don’t speak my dialect,
But our images reflect.
Drawn together by the flame,
We are just the same:
Embrace the wind and fall into another time & space.
Gib mir die Hand - ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand
Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann…
If we belong to each other,
We belong anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
Im Sturtz durch Zeit und Raum, er wacht aus einem Traum…
Nur ein kurzer Augenblick – dann kehrt die Nacht zurueck.
Bits and pieces from your star
Rain upon me as they fall;
Melt into my skin and I feel warm.
Sweep upon me like a wave.
We are young and brave:
Embrace the wind and float into another time & space.
Gib mir die Hand - ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand
Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann…
If we belong to each other,
We belong anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
Drawn together by the flame,
We are just the same:
Embrace the wind and fall into another time & space.
If we belong to each other,
We belong anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
I’m going to anywhere you’re coming from.
Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
Gib mir die Hand - ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand
Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann…
Die Zeit is reif fuer ein bisschen Zaertlichkeit
I’m going to anywhere you’re coming from.
Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.

AnyPlace AnyWhere AnyTimE~NenA

I went for my lesson..haha..Finally..But i skip the last one cos i fig if it not June mak teaching den i wun be able to understand..I'm so tired..Maybe gonna slp early yeah/.
Yeah just got 100 buck..But i noe i must use it wisely..
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a song to describe my feelings..

PinK-MoSt GalS
I never cared too much for love
It was all a bunch of mush
that I just did not want
Paid, was the issue of the day
If a girlfriend's got some game
Couldn't be more fly, gettin paid was everything

But I'm not every girl
and I don't need that world
to validate me

Cuz shorty got a job,
Shorty got a car,
Shorty can pay her own rent
Don't wanna dance if it's not in my heart!!

Chorus:
Most girls want a man with the bling-bling
Got my own thing got the ching-ching
I just want real love
Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
everything that I dream of
a man that understands real love

I was a girl about the floss
It was all about the cost
how much he spent on me

Seek, for a man who's got the means
to be giving you diamond rings
It's what every fly girl could want
or even dream

But I'm not every girl and I don't need no G
to take care of me

Cuz shorty got a job,
Shorty got a car,
Shorty can pay her own rent
Don't wanna dance if it's not in my heart, no-oh
Chorus 2x
(uh uh uh uh....)
I'm not every girl and I don't need no G
to take care of me, no

Cuz shorty got a job,
shorty got a car,
Shorty can pay her own rent
Don't wanna dance if it's not in my heart

Chorus 2x
Cuz I'm not most girls,
don't wanna dance
if he can't be everything
I, I just want real love, said I gotta have real love
Everything that, can you be everything that I dream of

Yeah..So u not gonna care anymore..I'm not gonna care..
We r not going anywhere..Wateva..
i'm still waiting here..

hi..Just found a old song that i just wanna share..
To all my friends, acquaintances out ter..
To those that know me..
To those sick,tired and disappointed and lonely souls out ter...
Here a song for you...

CrAsH & BurN

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump
I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away
And You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump
I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

No matter wat..
I neva felt tat blissfulness most gal felt when they have a bf..After losing u..I have neva felt wat is it like to be loved again..
So here i'm all alone..Still alone and though i got a bf..I'm still alone..Ironic yeah..
As the seconds tick by, days pass and min goes by..I wondered when i see u again..?When would ur heart decides it gonna miss me and when u want to see me again..?mths later..or yrs..?
Sorry to all ur frens..I'm not a wonderful gal as u can see..
But wat i need, u can't give it to me either..
Sometimes my heart quest whether u still loves me..But i dun want to know the answer anymore..
cos i believe only ur actions will tell me..I wait for the day when u decide u will miss me,after tomolo when i take my money..I am just gonna sit by every seconds,mins and hrs and days to see and wait..
Boy..u r hurting me cos u r leaving me here all alone..
I know that a couple needs space..i can gave u that..But i find that we r too far apart already..Wat the need for tat dist?
I dunno..i thinking too much again..Hurting myself all over again..
If u thinks that u r betta off being alone den y ask me be ur stead in the first place..Once u step into a relationship..U should noe that time, money and commitment is needed..
I'm sad, hurt and disappointed..Dun wanna think abt u anymore..=`(
i'm sorry..but i love ya..Only could wish that u come and tell me everything is ok..But you will neva do that..
I'm just back to where i started also..wateva..haiz...

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound
Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

im looking for a place
searching for a face
is anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

~yeah it a damn cold night,a damn cold day...and a damn cold life..

Loves comes to those who still Hopes even though they've been Dissapointed;
To those who still Believe even though they've been Betrayed;
To those who still need Love even though they've been Hurt before

So y is it that i have been Disappointed but i still have hopes..
Have been Betrayed but still believe..
Have been Hurt before but i still need love but y is it that i can't find it..
Dear..Since you so used to being alone..Den i also learn to be alone lo..
I was thinking the whole day and realise no use to be sad over everything..
true..all i wanted was just someone to care..to love me..
But since ter no one to love Jasmine..Den i love and care for her lo..
Yep=)
So the first step i did was to go swimming haha....
Whao..the water was freezing man..Din really swim long..was just playing wif myself..Okie tat sound quite retarded but yeah it was fun..and as i lie ter floating in the water..Suddenly my troubles and pains seem to be gone..it feel really good..Den as i got up and made my way to the changing room..The wind came and blow the chill down my spine and i can't describe this chillness..It so good just like u standing naked in front of an air con..haha..So refreshing..Den at that moment i thought of eating beancurd..Cos beancurd is also cold and cooling..lol..
So i'm back here..Was starving haha..But i feel more refresh..Feel like a part of my old me have been taken away..
Suddenly i feel that i dun want to depend on anyone to make me happy..Cos they wun..
I want to love myself..I want to love this gal call Jasmine...=)
I want to be a happy gal and chase away the dark clouds that have been surrounding me for so long..

Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There’s someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
Up Where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there’s someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
...

yep..i need a hero..Will u be my hero...?

Yesterday firework was great..But a pity i wasn't by urside to watch it..But it doesn;t matter cos we r still looking at at the same sky..I enjoy that few minutes that i was wif u..
Dear..i'm sorry for everything i have said..
I really dun want to keep apologising too..Cos my sorry will seem worthless..
I know i'm not perfect person..I neva meant to do those things to you..
I neva meant to say all that to you..Cos it only goes to show how much i dun trust u..
All this while when i tell everyone how perfect u were..U r still perfect to me..
But you r not real..Sometimes i wish u really can be the one to take all my hurts away and be the one to catch all my tears..
I know i'm falling..all i just wanted u to do was to catch me..hold me and dun let me go..But it seem like u r just watching..
I know i think too much..Maybe i am..I noe u r disappointed..
Maybe for once in a relationship i will stop thinking too much..
And yeah i found a reason to start a new..
A reason for everything i do now..
A reason to change who i used to be..
A reason to showed a side of me that you didn't know..
And the reason is you..

A bOriNg SuNDay but luckly i'll be going out later..
Dun understand how i can allow time to pass me by just like tat..
Y becos i have to numb my stupid damn heart..
Okie i wasting my youth,my life away..Damn..For wat?
i Dunno..
Dun wanna live in regret..anymore..
haha..just now received a msg from u..Dun be so thickskin yeah..Eva since this guy step into my life..I rarely mention u anymore..Cos i know you r happy out ter..and i'm happy for u cos i believe this path is betta for u..
Hehe..but just like wat u did..I have hint to the person whom i have been missing like crazy..But maybe he get the hint..maybe he din..
Yeah so wat..The past is the past..Nothing can be relived again..
it going to two..going meet u in like another hour..haha dunno wat i want to wear..lala..I hate my clothes..Wanna get a new style but no money..Even if i had a million dollars..I would not have look nice in anything..Sigh..
I am eating more and more..But damn i am still 36..dunno y i am still this skinny..Is like my nutrients dun get absorb well enough ah..I realise at times like this..Avril lavigne and linking park song suit me the best..
just listening to their music..My anger,hatred, hurt just disappear..
And yeah suddenly i begin to understand abit abt wat i used to misunderstood..But still my answers are so clear to me..Wat to do..?Haiz....

LINKING PARK ROCKZ

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken
From deep inside of me
A secret I’ve kept locked away
No one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show
They never go away
Like moving pictures in my head
For years and years they've played
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn’t have
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
It's easier to run
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made
It's so much easier to go
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame, to the grave

Easier to run~

Hey look at me
Think back and talk to me
Do you think i'm wasting my time thinking of things that i shouldn't have
Cos it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now i try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm neva gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend i'm alright
Cos i'm not..
I try not to think of the pain i feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent wif me seem so far away..
And it seems like you dun care anymore..
(a modified version of simple plan~perfect)

I was damn sick this morning..but betta now..
Really drag myself up to school..And was late for 1/2 an hour..And the teacher din even say anything abt my punctunality..haha..
okie well she explain wat to do..And left me ter like a lost child..
I took my time..sneezing away every 5min..My brain not functioning well..Keep having the old symptoms back again..Sigh..
Den she came back after an hour..And teach me the rest of the things that i din have time to know..
Yep..And when i thought it was the end..She forced me to go comp lab to do cbt..
And yeah she can't see i'm having a damn bad flu..
luckly ter was a cosy corner right next to the door..
But the irritating part is that pple keeps asking me to open for them..And dunno which bitch just need to lock the door everytime she walks in..
Den i came back at 12 to look for her..She test me on injection..And keep telling me i would have failed if this is real test..Oh well..Cos to her my every move, step and words are all wrong..Wateva.....
Went to outram to change my appointment but guess wat it closed..
My life is really screw up..

I miss you..Do you know that..?i read tru ur every msg..But i noe there are some things that only time can tell..only time can give me the answers i am looking for..Oh well..hope u r doing well..Life need not necessary be gd wif me..You know that..?
Sometimes have ya wonder wat would u do when u miss someone so badly that u really feel like seeing the person at that moment..?
wat would you do..?would you ask the person out..msg him to let him know he is being missed..or would u just drive urself crazy..?
I dunno...But to me some things are betta left unsaid..Cos it no use..Just noe it in my heart can liao..Whether u noe anot is not gonna matter i guess..
The feeling of being missed is great too..Esp if it from someone whom u love..But till now..i dun hear from u..
Maybe that person is just like me..I wished i knew if u miss me too..Cos i miss you alot..Ilove ya..
So if u miss someone tell him/her cos for u might neva know that he/she might be thinking of ya too..
And it can really made up someone day..

I'm happy for the concern u show me today..Is just like out of the many others, u r still the one tat is ter for me..
haha..hope u find ur pink dog..
I am sick still..is just like i can neva recover..I want to be strong but feeling sick makes me weak..
Okie..i really gotta get well..ter r many things i want to do..
I want go kbox..go swimming, and most imptly catch up wif my studies..
And den maybe catch up wif all my long time no see frens..
yeah miss all the old times when we were happy together..
Just now just laid in the bed and listen all the song in my mp3..Just lying in the dark..Is just so relaxing den once in the while receive msgs or calls from pple tat u miss..The feeling is so damn good..
Sometimes is good being sick..so that u can give excuse to rest out of ur busy schedule in life..

Jasmine still ('v') Ashita always and foreva...

I wanna be stronger..
Stronger den wat i used to be...

I used to thinkI had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always go my way,
yea...Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realized

CHORUS
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that
I Learn to face up to this on my own
I've seen much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

CHORUS
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl
But if you look at me closely
You will see it at my eyes
This girl will always find her way

CHORUS(
I'm not a girl)...
I'm not a girl
don't tell me what to believe(Not yet a women)...
I'm just trying to find the woman in me,
yea(All I need is time)...
Oh, all I need is time
That's mine...
While I'm in betweenI'm not a girl...
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine...
While I'm in betweenI'm not a girl...
Not yet a woman

Sorry..i know this is one of my many sorries but too bad this is the only word tat the human dictionary has..
two days ago..Gianna decided to chose on a topic on emotions for our psycho ica..Which is divided into the topic of attachment and love..So feeling bored yesterday,i went to do a research.
Den i found something that i feel that describe me so well..i hate to say it..But yeah gotta be truthful to myself..
There are three kinds of attachment namely secure attachment, anxious (aka insecure)attachment, avoidant attachment..
And well i definately fit to the anxious attachment..
Okie..So this is how it goes..

The "Anxious/Ambivalent" lovers.
These people often find themselves more eager to get very close to their lovers than their lovers do to them. While their primary complain is that their lovers seem unwilling to get as close as they hope for, their major worry is abandonment. The word "ambivalent" describes a frequent love-hate relationship. Other characteristics include:



>High breakup rate despite deep involvement
>Intense grieving following loss
>Unstable self-esteem combined with self-doubt
>Prefer being "cuddly" than actual sex
>Although like to work with others, often feel under-appreciated
>Views spouse as unsupportive
>Daydreams about success but often unable to sustain efforts
>Vulnerable to eating disorders
>Perceive parents as intrusive and unfair
>Tend to be emotional, especially when under stress
>Worry about rejection during daily interactions
>Have a tendency to self-disclose to every one and like others to disclose
>Jealous and untrusting
>Easily distracted by mood swings (even when it is positive)
>Preoccupied with personal relationships; can't turn thoughts away
>Hostility and anger
>More likely than other attachment styles to be overtaken by religious emotions
>Afraid of separation
>Afraid of death

okie..does that sounds like a horrible person..I bet u(terr)that if u read this, u really gotta agree 100%..
So darlin dear..i hope u understand that all this while when i'm wif u..i dun want to bring this part of me along in this relationship..cos it really does us no good..and yeah if i think too much too..
sorry dear..u can find me horrible or wat..i dunno..i just sux k..just dunno wat u be thinking now after reading..
But yeah here's a song tat describe everything....

.........Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else,

yeah LA told me,
"You'll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are."
Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
She's so pretty,
that just ain't me

Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe somethin
A day in the life of someone else?
Don't let me get me

Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

Pink~~Don't Let Me Get Me

Sorry.......

http://psychology.about.com/library/weekly/aa022001c.htm