i feel no inspiration.just really slacking..not even a single sign of anxiousness or stress or breakdown..hah, dunno wat wrong wif me.

I was studying halfway, went to sleep..Wake up and got craving for pizzas..my mum agree to buy for me, so i went to call the hotline and order a hawaiian lover and zest(wat eva u call it).

then i continue slacking, waiting for pizza..it came and we all happily eat them.
Den i still got no motivations so i slack again..taking pics wif my sis and talking abt dark and ringtones.When i started reading, i felt a pain at my shoulder, got mojak to gave me really gd message and while she at it, we watched chnl8 show, forgot wat its call...the one in which ter 2 fann wong..

the show is over, but i still cant seem to study
wat the hell wrong wif me i wonder..i need someone to talk to..hahah.
gonna go disturb dear, when i told him i had pizzza today, he said his mum also bought back some for him..=x
See la, cant even boast..haha,watever..

Jasmine ah jasmine..go study will u..
i feel like going over to dear's but my mum will kill me if i do so..so how..
ahah, lena online, i going disturb her..

sayo!

maybe i will study?

i'm done wif my defining of all the hard terms.
later come de harder part: the part of memorising.

Now i going to eat and rest and will start at 1..
lets get it started yeah!!=D

i think i am loving u even more..lolz

hah, my mom came home today..lalala~
from dunno where...in fact she just walked in..

me and dear kept slping..wasted one whole day..so now trying to make it up in the nite.
i think i still got enough time..
i hungry.going try my luck drag tat fat ass out of his house..

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
Im just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one els
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

i feel soo weird.
thinking and missing some body tat i'm not suppose to.
Haiz.

Anyway, gtg study soon.Might not blog so often anymore.

I HATE EXAMS!

err,the world is complicated.
wateva...

i and dear made up alrdy.so to those who think i break up...pls read this.
It was a cold warrr not a breakup..but anyway, maybe i was being a bitch too..
so wateva..

everything tat begins has to have an ending.
So yeah, i'm just waiting for my little ending..i want to finish my exam fast.
hah, still slacking wor.

caught CrEePs yesterday wif Qin and ivan. Was rubbishh.It the movie abt hide and seek in the railway station.lolz.i thought it was a real ghost but Nooo, it a psychotic guy tat suffer from some deformities since young and something happen to him and he goes ard killing pple tat lingers in the mrt station late at nite and den feed their organs to his pets- the rats.-.-
dear was complaining tru out the whole movie..arrggh..

It was nice to meet up wif everyone.Lena was ter too..hahaa
Oh weelll, dear taught me to play a card game.was fun..

came home in the morning again.and slept tru the afternoon.
Jess bake chocolate cake and dad cook chicken rice for dinner..
hah, wat a feast..

i'm soo tired. another hour more and i can run to my home sweet home to fall into a deep peaceful slp.

I was thinking of starting my revison soon since the chalet idea was cancel and so was the one for escape.
Yesterday nite was fun.met up wif one of my old friend.talk to him and everything.Sat at the jetty looking at the sea wave and every 30 sec or so a plane would flew past.
The nite was just beautiful..i wish i could do this everyday to relieve stress or something.
I neva saw a plane tat flew so near the earth just right above my head.
I told him i wanted to visit some of the rumored places like the old changi hospital.He bought me just right outside to it.i have to admit it does look spooky even on the outside,but lucky i din see a thing..and no bcos i dun want to invite unwanted trouble i decide not to probe further into the place.call me a scarliy cat...? lolz

We saw alot of gays, transsexual gays i meant..which is wat he call female boys.
They were really pretty, much more den me.but too bad... lolz
Well, everything was more convient wif a car of cos. i could chose exactly where i want to go even though if for eg i want to travel from east coast to let say jurong.he was my driver tat nite.
thanks alot alot.feel much betta alrdy i guess.maybe i just gotta be stronger.

yup, and for now i think i just wanna study.
no more trouble for myself or for my parents.
been staying out alot this days.
I only reached home this morning at 5.15 am. and 10 min later my dad alarm rang.

so now i just need my beauty slp and off i am to studying.

the test was ok.but sadly when i double check my ans i discover many stupid mistakes i make.
hope i can still make it =x

did my stat project til 6.was really bored and tired.
Just came back not too long ago from a swim wif Jess.Char just sat ter and watch us and was doing her homework as well.

i damn tired but waiting for my hair to dry.Dinner was sucky except for the soup.
Msn giving me probs too.

I just wanna get my lappy top back den can instal Sims2 again to play.
ahhh~ just try not think soo much or be sad again...wateva..wateva..

ah ha, it din rain cos i din go for lect in the morning.i tot it was just so coincident well, it wass.
just reach home, gtg go study soon. heard tat the test was hard, so yeah, betta start early.

cant wait for thurs to end.bcos by den it would be the end of everything and i can study for my finals wif a peaceful mind.

yup yup.
I miss so many pple. but given my current status, i cant be wat i want to be when i'm out wif u.
Sigh, so i just gotta let go. But if u misss me, can always gave me a msg or a call k? I'll be waiting.

i rem an impression u gave me - that i was weak, i was clingy.
you thought i was, but i felt i could be like any other gers, strong and independent when u r not by my side.
and now aint i proving it to u.actually i dun need to prove to u.i was.just tat ter was many reasons why i seem to be otherwise.

but anyway i miss you if u dun and no i wun cry or make a fuss to meet u just bcos i do.not anymore.i have grown up.
If you worried tat i cannot survive without u when u r gone, well u can put it down cos i am stronger alrdy.

i still got tons of pgs to copy.ter a psycho test comin up on wed. and well just like me, i haven started. Today it did rain when i was making my way home.pat say it will rain if i came for lect and it did.hah, ok it is raining these days anyway
and yeah, i finally came for lect. Lilin lend me her bio notes and lokmaya lend me her 2037.
haha, i accidentally msg to lok.pai seh.

went to get exam papers after lect.the photocopy lady was making a deal out of everything but anyway she was so slow.not efficient at all..Lilin was piss.
Moja maggie mee is soo salty..so din want to finish everything.slept whole afternoon.supposedly to go out wif lena but she was incorrigible.No news were heard.
But anyway was used to it, so din mind in fact i kinda knew it.

i think today really tired.gonna try to copy finish my notes and den head to my cosy little bed.

hah, jess sneaks out wif charlene.trying to get her to help me get back my mp3 from u boy..

haha. i miss you so much.

you know if you see this you might have notice tat a tagboard is added.
and no is not me who add tat.but i'm certain i noe who did tat..=D

Gosh i am surprise.and really happy as well.It a gd thing tat nothing can be posted bcos tat the reason why i din want have a tagboard.I dun need anyone comments.but if u do have, feel free to.

for now, you made my nite. love you ssooo much yeah! *muackz*
i'll thank you when u come home later.

Eddy paid me a visit today.We had a heart to heart talk.but i think i did talk too much.lolz.
Just watch a show on kate and XXX(dunno wat his name).really a gd show, touching and nice like a fairytale.My day is absolutely like nothing.been slacking.

been inspire by something to start my revision.But still haven started.maybe tomolo=?

for now i love my baby boy =D!

I'm enjoying myself today, really relaxing and taking good long naps to replace that lack of slp during the last few days.haha, slp actually should and never can be replace yeah so dun learn from me:).
My stoopid comp was hacked by some stupid trojan virus last nite, it was really bad.I was totally worried.so got my private junks transfer to dear comp.spend an entire night transferring over 1000 songs and at least an hundred pics and other impt doc.slept only at 5 am.haha.woke up at 12 plus.

came back not long ago.my nite was great.went out wif Qin,Ivan and dear
Ate at 5 star chicken rice again. den after which we bought the sweet couple to ICe.they had some 5c icecream and me and dear shared a peach smoothie and a banana rumba.
After which we head to pubbies.dear got himself a mug of beer.Ivan open his fav pool table again.i din played.
But dear might have thought i was bored, but i wan't..anyway he played the photo game with me.you know the one where u spot the diff between two photos.hah, and we got the highest.If you eva go pubbies check out the name Jaster in the hi- score list.lolz..

i'm tonning(if tat how u spell it?) at dear house again.
my mom gonna kill me!

I can tell you how glad and relief i am that everything is over.
It might not be gd, i might screw up a major time, others might laugh but i am not gonna care.
I'm so drained..physically, mentally and emotionally.
Procrastination is really killing me, making me so fcuk up with everything during the last few days.
But well, it over alrdy ger.=)
Owning a thanks to dear and Jessie who helped me to survive the ordeal.
and to God and his angels for giving me courage, hope and strength.
i'm a survivor yeah!

There, i haf changed my blog.It really hard to find a skin to suit wat i actually really feeling this days.Bcos i'm just numb.
Found this and yeah it might look like a really sad blog, but i think that wat i really feeling inside- 'feeling down in the dumps'
After a good slp, i guess everything will fall back to its normal place.

Goodnite`

Will somebody cover me like a slping child?

i've changed my blog but not update it yet maybe when i'm free.
My cramps are betta alrdy.a pity i couldn't watch u cut ur hair.
i'm glad u got urself a job. :)
haha, i'm ok being alone.really, but just need time adjusting to it.

i'm watching my diet and i'm sick abt everything i got to eat and wat i cant.haiz.

To somebody who have changed: is ok if u did.i nvr say u couldn't.but dun take it that the whole world owe u something.cos i dun either.I msg u when i'm down and ask u some quests, ur ans are always flat or nvr came at all..Even when i'm sad, i dun turn u away when u need someone to talk to. I always wanted to help u, but it u who can chose to tell me abt things.If ur attitude is this bad and since it so alrite for u to go den go ahead cos guess wat, i'm no longer afraid of losin u.

once upon a time, i had this companion
but yesterday he went away, not a word was spoken.
The last i saw him, he refuses to look at me.
No one knew where he went.

R.I.P dark. i have always love you.
and i would miss u so.

My dear finally went for a job interview.
today agent calll but haven found out wat happen yet from him.
no motivation at all.i hate the yr 2005.

i need someone to get me out.

sometimes i feel i dun need you anymore
Sometimes i feel i cannot tolerate you anymore
Sometimes i feel i just cannot forgive you
Sometimes i feel like i need to live without you
But yet sometimes i feel like i would break into pieces if i do so.

my mom force me to watch this video on "using buddhism on a happy family"
It talks abt r/s, marriage and kids.
i like some part in which the nun say.like, "you get what you see" meaning that it useless thinking that the person will change for u.he is what you see him to be.

i dunno i wish u do get a job so why dun u just Go and get a JOB?
sorry to say this but u have become and still is becoming lazier.
ur brain gonna rust man.

I'm so bloated and tired.

I gonna be broke again.Took cab bcos i thought i will be damn late.haiz, but when i reach Qin was only at amk.The first part of kbox wasn't gd, din have much mood to sing at first..No confidence wif my voice, realise it kinda suck, den after tat it was slighty much betta.
I realise i am much betta wif english songs.Dunno why.

Stupid lady gotta chase us out at the exact time, ivan suggest kpool, so he open up a table and me and Qin played first.den dear finally reached but by den we were half way in out second rounds.The first round i won cos Qin shot in the black ball and guess wat my pool suck too to the extent tat i din manage to get in any ball at all for the first round.second round was much much betta cos i manage to get in 3 balls at one go.Dear guide me and ivan guided Qin, ivan is an expert..but me and dear need polishing in our pool.

Qin bought herself some shorts.i was tempted to buy the shirt but decided not to spend my money anymore.Went orchard lib to do my research and also to find lena.haha, den we went down to this toy shop and played ard.Spend plenty of time trying to fixed metal puzzles.Dear, was braggin.i was soo soo bored.

went jalan kayu to eat cheese prata den pay a visit to my hospitalised fish.He seem much betta but very sulky and he refused to see me.but at least he wasn't floating upside down anymore.
It was just left wif me dear and lena.Dear suggest waffles ice cream at sengkang.So we took 86 down. Lena say this guy who was interested in her was comin so we walked ard while waiting for him.Dear suggested courts and he was talking non stop abt wat kind of bed, table, chairs, tv, cupboard he wants..den we proceed to fashion labs, John little and metro.
Did some trying of clothes for fun.the fren finally arrive.Din have any comment actually on him cos din talk to him but lena doesn't seem please.We had our waffles icecream.

haha, i realise how much simliarity of taste does dear and my gf have actually.
i wanted to go white house for fun but was outtalked so in the end we walked to puggol park.
Me and lena was shocked tat the two guys were walking so far far in front of us when the route ter was really scary, what a gentleman.well.

It was quite nice talking to lena and having one of the gers talk again at the park.really miss her i guess..we have a date tomorrow and tats is to go swimming.

I love you!

heya, i'm done wif my shs finally.lallallala~
It fun, tiring and very very boring.

Lucky Zhangde pri wasn't tat big cos i did lots of climbing up the stairs to call the classes down or either to call for 2 representatives to collect their health booklet.Pri sch foods really very sian but i think i like my IJ one it much betta i think. I and pat went out to eat at BK on wed.
I could tell u how sian i was, i had nothing to do yet knowing tat it is really impossible not havin something to do (Gianna complain tat she had almost 5 hrs resting time every day), so i and yanxia settle down to read Enid blyton book.haha, i nvr knew i could actually read a book, i tot i could never settle down wif one.I got my hands on Audiometry machine.On thurs, nurse Fatmah gave me yanxia and pat KFC chicken to share..It was really good:) but it was stupid to go along wif them to Radin Mas pri just for an hour to help them wif the shifting.haiz, but no choice

Today at ACSb was ok.Was slacking real hard, cos it the same procedure and all except for helping nurse Alice to see if the data she enter was correct.haha, i rem when we all enter the sch, everyone was amaze wif the scenery.the sch is damn big la and very beautiful.This sch reminded me alot abt Dear maybe bcos tat his ex sch even the bus journey ter reminded me of how me and dear always coincidentally met at the busstop to take bus to sch together.

hee, i finally changed my appointment.It on mon..
The nitemare isn't over, in fact it only the beginning.
1 stats project, an assigment, surgical posting next week wif an awaiting case study to be done.
Yep, so i decided i gonna enjoy myself tomolo wif kbox.hah, and den dear promise to go wif me to the lib.=D

now i soo soo worried or scared of wat my bio results maybe.