Yr 2006 have been a pretty bad yr for me..

I keep losing pple that i dun treasure but yet they mean alot to me..

AFter i lost shawn, i learn the lesson of treasuring someone..

And there was my grandma, i admit i din do much for her, nvr spent time wif her during the remaining days..

Arrgh it stupid to be talking abt it now..But anyway, i realise im a runner..I dun let things hurt me for long..So i will keep running away..Trying to forget how and why it hurts..
So i run and run away from the reality that it matter to me...even after her death, im still runnin..

Only once in a while i do remember that this pple who meant alot to me actually do exist i n me..

Now they r gone, doesnt matter anymore..Right now is my grandpa..

He is the man who took care of me and jess..He dotes alot on us and we do feel protected from my uncle (who discipline us alot)..But somehow i dun rem talking or interacting much wif him..
And den in pri 4, when my dad decided me and jess have to be independent and go home alone, he wasnt so please so he gave himself a responsibility of fetching us home..

I din like the idea even though he gave me and jess alot of freedom and would wait for hrs before we decided to really go home..

And mind you, he lives in bedok..Have to come all the way down to toa payoh, fetch me and jess home and den back to bedok again..(is not near lo)

Anyway, as i grow up we only meet about 5 times in a yr..very little i know..Now i think back, i think so too..Haiz
When he started to behave weirdly, i wasnt there..Even after he was confirmed of having dementia, i still wasnt ter..

But i felt something everytime i see him..Each time i see him, his condition seem to deteroirate bit by bit...
To me, i din want to feel a single thing..probably running away again..

I wish back den before he completely forgot who i m, i did something just something..=x

Just on sunday, i made a plan wif nana that we would go to my granny hse to see him (today)..
But yesterday nite while i was happily eating ben and jerry wif yy and cl..Mom called wif a bad new..

I went home and tried to do a research, only could come out wif a few not very good possiblity..haiz..

May God bless him..

Im so prepared for the worst but wouldn mind for a miracle like he waking up to acknowledge us once again..

Before i forgot..Happy birthday to daddy!!=D

The BAD & The GOOD


Hmm though it 12am alrdy but i decided to blog while waiting for my songs to transfer to my new mp3- ZEN V PLUS.XD

My dad bought us all a mp3 player..Thanks a million daddy!! *muackz*

I realise how some days can be so funny..When it bad, everything bad will come ur way..When it is good, it be double bonus too.=)

But the rest of the days will be pretty average..I still pray for more good days to come by..haha.

Today is such a good day i tell ya..I got my confirmation letter..

What i really saw when i look at the letter was my months of hard work..It pay off..!

But i know that there will still be more days of hardship but im stronger..=))

Anyway it a good day bcos i scrub for an BKA..whaha..Was fun i tell ya..And she was super nice to me today also..Mayb i should learn to understand her...hmm.!

Yesterday it was quite an opposite of today..I went to see the astrologer aka fortune teller(she abit of both).

Yeah, heard abt my grandpa stuff and felt really sad that i almost could cry when i think of him..So to make myself feel a little better, i follow my dad and toad down to my granny hse..When i reach there, i saw my cute grandpa sitting at the edge of the bed (think he just woke up or something), he look blurly at me and had a very scared expression..

He asked my grandma why got so many pple that he dunno come here..So i had to intro myself all over again..
We all went out and he sat on his favourite sofa, dig his side pocket and show us a 10 cent..

"10cents is all i have..Im such a poor man" that wat he say..

and tru out the conversation he kept repeating..Saying why other pple can earn $107 and he only can earn 10cent..Everytime i hear it, it makes me laugh but also sad to see his condition deteriorate so much..

He looks happy!=)



My shy granny..

Sometimes it makes me wonder when was the last time that i saw him, he was still his normal self and he still acknowledge me..That was like when i was so bz dating..So engrossed in my bf!
Last nite, i was really down..I thought to myself what am i doing here walking aimlessly wif my best frens and yet feeling all so irritated..Like there is no life at all..

I realise i have spent my entire adolescent life engrossed in guys and frens..I neglect my home totally..I felt really ashamed of myself at the thought of it...Im sure u will agree too..

My mood snap the moment i saw him..I dunno..Honestly i dunno if it was loneliness or desperateness or wat..but i have been thinkin of 2 pple alot..except tat recently it was him that i have been thinking and probably talkin abt once in a while to nana.

And den i have to see him..Dun get me wrong..But it really something wrong..My whole world collapse but not tat dramatically..It been like how many months alrdy and i still feel like that..
The feeling is like really blue and lousy..Even after i got out of the place..I still wonder wat he is thinkin..This is the nature of pisces and i cant control it..Arrggh..

I continue feeling so horrible until i rem kenneth (de hairstylist) at dxo and went over wif lena and qin to say a hi to him..That helps abit cos he so cute can...hahha.
Actually suppose to club wif him one..Mayb at the start i should have agree den probably we wun meet and all of us will not be hanging ard aimlessly on a sat nite..

I decided that regardless wat nite it is, i shall stay at home to spend quality time wif my parents..Unless there is a concrete plan of wat to do..im so not stepping out of the hse..

And oh yes, am i stupid or wat but i recently found out, nana is attached once again..
Congrats to her..=)

Back to the life of me, myself and i..=((



*cheers*
(crazy-looking woman!)

Oh well, cheers cos many good things happen today..

It almost 1am, should be going to sleep..lalalal~

Nitez

IT's ALL ABOUT NANA :)



Sian..I should be going out to study wif nana but nana say she too tired..And im lazy to go to Henry hse and having to take cab back even though he lives so near..Im tryin to save money for the aust trip next yr..dun even noe if i can save up enough anot..=/

So i miss seeing nana beautiful face, miss sitting down wif her to study and talking crapz at the same time..

Talking abt studying..On Tuesday i and nana went to try the newly opened dessert cafe at serangoon central..I rejoice at the thought there is a dessert cafe..
But after a visit there, i decided there wun be a second trip unless it is to the bar upstair..Heard it not tat bad.haha

Firstly, i thought the way it is designed is to attracted kids..Cos the moment i push the door, at the right corner i saw mini high-5 chairs and tables..-.-
They had a neoprint inside ter too..And you should take a look at the menu..

It looks like ur flips cards..

With strawberry infront..oh my!!Anyway tat isnt important..What matter most is the dessert..yeah..But...

Tiramisu cake and waffle icecream
(smallest waffle ice cream i ever seen)

The portion is small..very small and the taste isnt tat great for a dessertt..=/

Oh well..I still manage to study even though we stupidly sat near the neoprint machine and it is really irritating..

Talking abt nana again..DID i tell u how pretty she grew overnite..lolz

Last thursday..I went back to the salon to do my hair..Actually honestly i got kinda of use to the color and the stares..hahah..So was abit (very abit) sad that i have to get rid of it..=/
Kenneth did some trimmin for me too..But ah the color he put on for me doesnt seem to come out..=x So now i have black hair..lolz

And while he was doing my hair, nana was being persuaded to do curlz..And yeah wif a call to her mom, everything was ok..

Nana and me in the bus



I know it funny but DUN LAUGH OK!



the way he curl her hair..

to
this

A cute pix of nana *hehe*



I love this pix..!

A pic of nana in the market.
hahah

Nana help me wif the marketing in the morning so that we got food for the steamboat..Haha guess wat we both end up buying alot of tau fu..lolz..
anyway it the first time nana joined me for a steamboat..=)

Friday, we went to study wif QIN..Henry came to join us (for wat????) and den we went to meet alvin and compan for rollerblading..Oh my..YY overslept lo..i had to call yh to ask him call his other fren for her hse no..-.-

ANd i persuaded nana to rollerblade..hahah..SO me and henry helped her..Alvin occassionally come by to help..And nana master the very basic of roller blading..lolz


Her first!

I had my share of fun too..For the first time a ger (YY!) actually ride me...lolzz..abit scary but fun!!XD

Oh yes..Just-in fetch us for dinner and we went sprize..lalalal~

When i think of spize i think of good food *yummy!*

Anyway it nearing to 2 am alrdy..i guess i really am obsessed wif nana..haha..Okay im not in love wif her..I just feel like talkng abt her..yep yep so here a big shot pic of pretty nana..=))

Nana nana NaNa..

P.S:I've been feeling ugly so no pics..haha

Lena is at my house now studying while im bloggin away..I cant help to see my blog so stagnant ok tat why..haha.

Today at DOT again..WHY?? they always throw me there every wed..arggh and to top it off HE is not in a good mood today..Oh well every one got shot down..

And to think i nvr scrub for cabg for like very long (2 week?) i finally scrub on monday and almost die in a nice way..But somehow i felt a sense of improvement..Dunno why..=x

Lately i have been spending alot of time wif lena.Last time when i had a bf, i could spent everyday and sometimes every min wif him..Now it lena..haha..Amazing! Am i really someone who need alot of company??

Anyway she also free like me so she got a lot of time for me..Once she taken again, i will be alone..=(
I realise everyone who has been on AL last week all went to somewhere except me..=x

Singapore is so small la..That i have to spent monday and tuesday in depression cos no one to go go out wif and no where to go..lol.

Monday night, tat silly twin of mine bought me along to meet her bf..Shant comment here what he is really like..A funny guy wif a appetite like me for food..So we went Maetro bistro for dessert and Mr BEan for pasta..I tell ya the the pasta was awesome..Im still craving to go back ter one day..lolz

We both love green

leavng me ..



A dozen rose
- green wif envy-

Okays that lame..blah..I love pink and blue roses..They look nice together..Anyway that bouquet of flowers is for jess again..=)
Tuesday, Alvin return to singapore and we all went to have dinner..Haha guess wat the places we wanted to go to eat din welcome his return..We wanted to eat at a hawker at clementi, hawker center close down for renovation..Food republic at vivo city?also close..hahah..And we went to the hawker near harbour front mrt..lolz

After which, i went lena hse to stay another nite..=)

Wednesday,i met up wif lobster and hippy..So happy to see them..It feels like none of us changed..Hippy is still the same old hippy..Lobster is still as trendy as ever..And me still as corny as ever..LOLz

Oh anyway to avoid stares, i came up wif the idea to do pledges.(how u spell it??)

Lobster's help..

After which i went to find lena, waited for her to do her things and just-in came to fetch us..Went to cosy bay and i had some pizza (taste weird) and something call topshell(no idea wat tat)..The food isnt nice, maybe pple really go there to chill and not to eat dinner..Yeah anyway just for fun, i gonna tell u wat car just-in drives..IT the same as the one camel drives!!HONDA FIT!!!WHahahahah..

How i miss that car..

The dice reminded me of camel..

Think he say he wanted to put that dice..i think!!Oh well that so long ago also..But the dice is really nice also.. And Just-in has been really nice(to lena!) and been giving us rides home..

what if i turn blond?oO

Got more pictures but it 11 alrdy and im tired..*yawnz*
Shall continue sometime..

ZzZz

SIGH!

sian, it saturday morning alrdy and that means it the weekend marking the end of my al..

But i have beeen pretty occuppied thanks to my darling nana..

I think on some days im wif her for more den 48hrs..lolz

* Warning:If u r sensitive to the color red, pls do not scroll down..

A very handsome hairstylist -
KENNETH! XD

Too bad he is taken alrdy or else can intro to any interested party.. This was taken before i do the actual shot..BUTTERFLIES..GOOSEBUMPS (im cold)

Anyway this is how he begins doing my hair..

14 30:

Alot of wash, dye and den wash and dye again



Makes me feel like a bee! *buzz buzz*



Reinforcements of the black part.

Cut.

Wash

Dying of the REDs.



He just merely paint the reds over..



Do you see REDS or checkers?

I check the time on my hp, it reads 1830!I have been seating at least 4 hrs there lo..Whaha..But kenneth din even eat his lunch whereas i could eat my mushroom burger and mashpotato while he do my hair.. Poor guy rite?

It a small world or mayb singapore is just too small..Apparently nana's fren was kenneth camp mate..So he gave us all a ride to the studio..Or else we would have to go in a red cab.. hehe.

The studio is really big lo.I think it even bigger den my hse lo.

The makeup artist is late!!-.-

Alot of discussion and a decision was made to make me look really white..Nice idea. so the makeup artist painted my face WHITE and i ended up looking like this!

GHOST!-.-



Im amazed by the brushes he got



A big thanks to nana for waiting for me..+D

I could pass off as 'one'

I was walking around like this for almost a week lo..hahah..Cannnot imagine how much attention i have caught..haha.guess wat i dun care if u stare!!*bleah* =p

Gotta go sleep..It gonna be another long day..I think i should spent my sunday peacefully at home..Miss slacking by myself once again..=x

Nitez!

It the first day of my Al and i had wasted it completely by slacking..

The only most constructive thing i did was to water the plant..haha..

Anyway damn i had to wait til thurs to dye back my hair..Now to some pple, i look crazy..

Please tell me my hair is nice..lolz

Actually it is nice la, it more of a matter of do-u-appreciate-art?

Im a sucker for art so i do like my hair..Adidos to Kenneth Ong for doing my hair..

I remember i was still skeptical abt the outcome of it but boy it was awesome..

I should go out more and let pple stare at me..haha..Qin call me an AA for doing so(making my hair like this).
Hmm but who should i date tmr?o.O
I want to go out tonite too..=x
Oh yes, Alvin is coming back tmr shall give him a scare or is it a laugh..?whahah

Anyway yesterday i woke up feeling like everything was a dream..FOr the very first time of my life, i had a taste of wat is it like to be fuss over at..

It has it pros and cons

PROS

You feel some how like a star!!!

You feel important!!!

CONS

Self confidence is important and apparently i dun have much of it..=/

You get butterflies in ur tummy when ever u wonder wat u look like in the picts

NERVOUS-ness!

So now i noe it isnt easy being a model cos it isnt easy being beautiful all the time..
Im so glad im just ur average ger next door..=DD

okays im bored and hungry..

Before i run to the kitchen to grab my food, here my piece of art for photography..

Hair art.

Discover me..
*im not naked!!*rofl

AS I SIT HERE AND PONDER...

im bored..but im lazy too..

Okay my ideal way of spending a sunday afternoon is probably at a cafe eating dessert and chatting away..

BUT NO, im suppose to go out now to EXERCISE...

Anyway my elder sis told me that if i wanna do something constructive i should do something to make someone happy..That would den be constructive!

Lemme think Lena was such a sweetie yesterday for wasting her whole day waiting for me to do my hair and my phototaking..So i should do the same too?
I shall make her happy by going wif her to her aunt hse so that we can use the gym ter and probably go swimming too..hah!

Ok it something new..Better than stoning here i guess.=//

off-

GOODBYE TO YOU




The last i saw him was 19th oct.=)

That was his helmet that i was wearing..I remember this plan that both of us would talk abt (2 yrs back)..He will get a bike and we will be going anywhere speeding on his bike..He even promised me that he will bring me to Malaysia..

Guess what! He did..And im contented.=D

He always kept his words..Every bit of it..I guess i could leave happily now..=

I will always remember love isnt possession, for a moment, i guess i forgot.

Anyway this post will mark the end of my hairstyle cos im cutting again..=p

So it will be nothing but camwhoring pics of mine..XD



That happy looking Jessie..Not me!!For like the first time, her bf actually send her flowers i meant tru delievery..I received flowers but not this way before..haha..I remember the last time she actually got a delievery was 2 bottles of hooch and that was 5 yrs back when we were only sec 2..

Lucky her..Everyone seem to be in love now..Sometimes i envy but i kinda accept the way fate had for me now..The next item would be ken and yy i hope..*wink*

I had Fri and sat off..And to tell u the truth it was boring..hahah..

I spent first half of fri not knowing wat to do, in the end went to study wif Qin but u know it isnt really studying when you spent at least 80% of the time talking..Oh yeah we visited NYP cos she miss the lor mee..So we had lunch ter..

Saturday was a little better, went down to Ps to catch a movie wif yuyang..The Guradian..

IM SO HAPPY to watch that show bcos it featuring tat actor from alot like love.Im like mesmerise wif him..He so cuteee..

All the gers pls scream!!!

Haha, im crazy...It been a long time since i talk abt someone from the tv or movie..

Anyway after the movie, i went around shopping for a long sleeve shirt cos i had ugly mosquitoes bite on my left arm=(
I found one really nice purple shirt from S&K but im a tad too small for it..=((

Look nice rite?!?

Couldnt find anything and off i am to find lena at far east..Went down to marina to settle her affairs..And alas bought myself a nice jacket and a purple top..=)

We cab down to typ safar club for a session of Bbox(tat wat it call)..

I like her top.=p



smile wif me..

His name is William..No Darren..ahh i dunno..



Can see my purple contact?=D



The uncle must have thought im12

Sunday was spent at east coast wif alvin and company..=)
We all had fun rollerblading, cycling and yes not to mention falling down..haha.

Wif YY




Cheers wif 100plus



Lena's special edition



Waddya looking at??

Oh yes recently im in love wif editing again.My latest piece.=)

Greyish black..



Happily in dreamland >_<

Recently i have came up wif an idea to feel happy after a bad day at work..That is to sleep..So starting from monday i have been coming home, watch tv in my dad room til i fall asleep..Wake up for dinner, serve the internet for a while and back to sleep again..Although i had so much of sleep, i dun understand why i still had difficulty waking up.. i just wish i could sleep even more..Arrggh wat a pig!=x

Back to bed again..

Good nite!=))