Lesbians are considered non-straight, they are confused!
That the term pple always use..
So i figure getting myself into one will get me just as confused...
somehow i dunno if im fascinated by her or fascinated abt a new fren..haha..see im confused alrdy!
Anyway my weekends gonna be bz once again..
And this is the only day of this week that im actually at home..
Im quite worried that i wun have much time wif my 2 darlings anymore..=/
Just this morning i had a love breakfast! haha..I wish i can have this every morning in future..it is very sweet of him indeed..
The fried egg came in a heart shape..Haha..
I learnt tat love is indeed abt giving and receiving..And i enjoyed this alot..
Does a title matter alot?i Guess not but it more of a security kinda thing..
Just yesterday i caught PATHFINDER wif her and him and the extra guy..Haha..
So u can imagine how happy am i to be wif both of them!!hehe..
Anyway it is a good show if u like gruesome (not that gruesome actually) pocahontas( how to spell?) kinda show..lolz
I gotta get going wif my housework or i dun need to sleep alrdy..Or maybe heck, tmr den do!! hahah..
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In a lazy mood again..
=))
I have been bz!
I was just randomly reading my past archives and laughing at myself..Wonder how i could be so silly sometimes..Oh well..
I was abt to complain how unfair "love " is cos lena found herself a good guy, jess also found a good guy and me ! sloggin all out for a guy..).(
And den i couldnt complain anymore..Cos the miracles i have always been waiting for happen!
I dunno how or why..It just did..
You cannot imagine how hard is it for me yeah..Sometimes i really wanna give up yet at that point, i will strive harder..rahhh~ dunno wat i doing also..
My weekends was suppose to be wif him but end up i had a cold nite wif nana and lawry at fragance hotel..The bloody blanket very small lo..and i had to sleep in one position for the whole nite..
Grouchy and unhappy
Monday was like the worst and best day i ever had..All i wanted to do was run away...Work suck cos i just aint myself..And to add it all in, imagine the guy u like so much give ur number to a lesb..It just make u so wanna cry i tell ya..
The first thought that ran tru was bcos he wanted u to "move on"...but by being a LESBIAN!!??!
NO NO NO...=(
BUT the ger was really interesting and well...sincere..I kinda change my mind..hahah
She cute can? Met her yesterday when shawnnie was suppose to pick me up and was late-.-
Now im slightly confuse..I wanna be wif both of them..lolz
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Can I?
The blues.
Sometimes i want that life of mine back,
That life where i dun have to miss something,
Where i dun have to ache for something..
That where i wanna belong to..
That life which has only me, myself and I.
Although it gets a little lonely,
A little boring at times..
But at least i dun get stuck in the WHAT-SHOULD-I-DO-NEXT situation..
I wish i dun have to feel this way,
I so wanna cry to somebody,
I so wanna indulge in self-pity..
But theres nobody and
It a little silly..
So somebody tell me wat should i do please..
Tell me should i stay or should i go?
Cos i dunno if im happy with or without him,
Whether im sad with or without him..
Maybe i should just go and sleep and not think so much..
Cos at the end of everyday, he is not thinking much abt me either..
Thats the thought of a lovefool..
Random Ranting!There is something i have always learn..
Is always ringing in my ears, my mind till i can stand it no longer and decided to tell you...
It is that whenever you say you dun noe something, pple will tell you is bcos u cant be bothered to find out..
Maybe it true..But how irritating it get and self-criticising can it get when u ponder why u dun noe abt something and it YOUR fault bcos u din find tat out..
Arggh if that the case, ter are MANY MANY things i need to find out..
Gosh im lazy.-.-
The more i wonder and ponder abt wat a funny person i am,i truly feel that im indeed weird and cannot be understood..Den again it probably cos i dun understand myself or maybe i still dunno wat i really want..
It only tuesday, wednesday is coming and im trying and trying not to meet him until let say the weekend?Cos ma-moo-mee is complaining and i really do wanna be a good gal and stay at home yeah.
Im glad i dun feel bored at home..Gotsa alot of things i wanna do..
I finally got my first pair of levi jean! It a boot cut..I wanted something simple first..!heh, shall collect it tmr.
I realise i can be really mean at times, but yet i dun really want to..So im really sorry if i hurt you..Just that i really dunno how to say im sorry..And i din realise it hurt so much until u told me..
Mayb im a sadist too..=p
im feelin so sian cos tmr and the day after tmr is gonna be a long day..Haiz. Spare me!
Mean while, gonna share something from an email my mom forward to me..haha!
A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.
As she would need to wait many hours, she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies.
She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.
Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading..
When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought:
“What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!”
For each cookie she took, the man took one too.
This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene.
When only one cookie remained, she thought: “ah... What this abusive man do now?”
Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half.
Ah! That was too much!
She was much too angry now!
In a huff, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.
When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened!
She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong...
She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse
The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter.
...while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him. And now there was no chance to explain herself...nor to apologize.”
There are 4 things that you cannot recover.
The stone...
...after the throw!
The word...
...after it’s said!
The occasion...
... after the loss
The time...
...after it’s gone!
hmmmm....
YAN PART 2 and my little secret
Shhh!
I guess some alrdy knew,some guess..
Oh well, im telling ya it aint easy trying to chase a person..Sometimes u feel stucked between ur personal desire and that of the other person..It a lot of giving in and giving much more den receiving..Yet sometimes the return are really sweet..
Sweet is sweet but im still far frm my happiness..=x
I have discover certain things abt myself again..
Im pretty funny for a ger..Probably im just someone who will choose to love rather den to be loved..lolz
I cant tidy my own desk for nuts, but i can tidy other pple rm..-.-
Oh man, someone plss kill me.
I still have a lot of insecurites..haiz.Sometimes i feel like i want to 'sleep' it off.
Worst when i have it in front of him (like yesterday), i just couldnt help throwing a really black face.To take my mind off, i indulge in tidying up his cupboard for him..Oh and he bought me orea milk tea from the bubble tea shop..I thought that was kinda sweet since i din ask for it..=p
I scrub for S.S today..Damn, i tot ter was alot of pple ter for me but guess wat once the op begins, everyone ran away..I dunno why..Arggh..And until he start screaming, den all my important pple start appearing.Oh and im so thankful for my "mummy" for helping me..I feel like i owe her a big tub of chocolate icecream..hehe..
Sis C was good to me, i dunno i think she kinda "like" me cos she ask me to go home when it just only 6.30..Haiz but i got my inservice thingy to fill up or i could be home earlier..=/
I guess sometimes life is good and sometimes it just suck..Like a rollercoaster, the bad part u just close ur eyes and wish its all over soon..Tat wat i always do..
Sometimes i dun like myself..Im still lazy, has a bad attitude and untidy..Arrggh
And im still growing fatter..LOLz
Although alot of pple dun notice it but YES I AM ok?
Oh and we din catch movie, we went for body massage..It been a long time man..And i tell u how scary it is when u have massage at the wrong time..LOLz
It was the full body massage kinda of thing, and shawnnie was just opp of me..I dunno how to tell the auntie i have ermm...XXXXXXX..So i errrr close my eyes and wish she din find out..Was awkwardly uncomfortable..
But well, was really shiok cos the next day i went for facial and actually it wasnt much of a facial..The only thing i really had was my eyebrown being plucked..
And clubbing at nite..The second time i felt so heated up during clubbing..I wish i could describe it to u but haha u will noe when it happen to u..hahah..
Okays tat all for my short crazy ranting, gotta bathe cos shawniee comin soon..=D
This days, all i wanna be is alone.
Yet really not alone, cos on the other hand, all i wanted was just you by my side..
So im hoping hoping for a good movie wif you tmr.. =)
Nitez!
Im shacked and it gonna be a long week..=/
The depressing truth..
It one of those time when i cant help feeling really emo..
Give me a sad love story and i would cry..Im not one tat cries easily that if i can help it..I dun believe in crying.
Even if i feel super sad, i will try not cry..
Just now i was watching the manga "I my me strawberry eggs" and it was so touching that i really wanted to cry, my heart feels like breaking..But the moment i feel tears started to form, my eyes just cant cry anymore..=((
Haiz.
I have been alone (mayb not exactly alone) /single for so long..But i cannot find a reason to stay truly happy..
I cant seem to really moved on..and that start to get me worried and even more depressed..
You see the truth is i get over someone really fast, but is also true that i cant move on either.
The scary thing i realise abt myself is that i have nvr move on from the past..
Mayb someone should tell me the meaning of moving on, cos i dun seem to know..
I thought moving on is when u r able to stop being so obsessed abt that person, you can get attached again and u wun miss that person at all...
But i think abt most of them (those i truly like).Most of the time is of cos.......
I wonder why i cant get over him?He just like a pill that get me really addicted and im just like a hopeless drug addict that gets addicted time again after rehabiltation..
Is ter really no cure?
Is love really like tat?
I guess so...
Now i know how drug addicts feel, you can be looking at the drug and knowing is all bad for u yet you dunno why time again you would still do it..
Worst of all, i nvr allow myself to cry..Cos i feel if u easily get emotional, next time u will cry at almost anything..So cannot cannot cry...
Must be strong..
It will all soon be over..
Lately lately i know i know i have been hanging out alot alot wif shawnniee..
I know daddy and mummy miss me..=x
Will try to think of a way to get rid of my temptations ok?
For now since i have nothing to do and feeling lazy to go over..
Let talk abt CNY shall we?
My new yr was boring, it wasnt like any other new yr i ever had in my whole entire life..I guess this is just the beginning..
My new yr is usually spent at home, rotting away and helping out my parents by serving drinks to my relatives..And every yr, my hse would be so crowded.. However this yr, it almost empty.
I dun spent new yr wif nana or Qin (in the past), but now i hit the street the moment im awake or when the night is near.Wif alberto and Yan and of cos nana and her new company, lawry. Though boring but special..Hahah..
Let see, on the eve of new yr, we sung and drank to our heart content at BB wif ah ru and a few other seniors.Ah ru left early and nana decided since Lawry bought his camera, why not do some silly phototaking..(actually i suspect he brings a camera wherever he goes)
We were all shacked
Cos reaching home at 5 plus am is no joke when u have to wake up early to do housevisiting..=//
I went my ah ma hse..Saw my grandpa..And granny say my aunt feed him honey!! I kinda sure his plegm got something to do wif it..=/
Went back to slack and in the evening, me and nana went to her ah ma hse..I definately overdressed and really felt like running home to change man..Gosh.
We caught Epic movie late..Cos erm we accidentally overlook the time and i found i got my money cheated again..The movie is only 1hr plus lo..When i got ter, i only watch a 45 min movie..So not worth it..=//
Just the 3 of us..
=)
Me and albertoh had a crazy ride down from sengkang to serangoon in the middle of the nite..Call us MAD! lolz
The next morning, guess wat was the surprise at the door?
Mojak!!
So long nvr see her le..really miss her sia..She seem to be doing good cos she slim down somehow..oh well she look happy at least..
Jess and me make our way to sembawang where van and her mom came to fetch us..Sam and ben was alrdy ter eating lo..
We had really good chicken wings, i din eat much...
Was it tea or dinner time?
Our side "hungry" companions
Why does sam looks like a potato?
The rest of the time was spend playing sparkles and watching a series of unfortunate event..Afterwhich we went to a funfair at hougang which was damn expensive..
Imagine entrance fee of 2 buck and the ride is fcuking exp too..The more popular and thrilling rides can cost 10 buck per ride..And the one and only ride we all chose to sit happen to be one of them..HELL, while i was on it, i cannot make any sense as in why am i paying to scare the hell out of myself..arrrgghh so not worth it man.
Met albertoh, nana and lawry for a little supper.However a simple meal wif tons of photos..How addicted can we get to cam whoring?*roll eyes*
At hongkong cafe.
Tell me neon glow is nice?
The chao ah lian and the-girl-next-door
Ever caught ur fren self-camwhoring?
I did.
More picts outside...
I like things in pair!
There part 2...//
Im tired and im going sleep after my supper which is the dinner that my dad bought..I went dinner wif Toad instead..Had a really nice converstaion wif her..=)
Jessie come back soon pls!!
tata!
Labels: Dun u just love neon glow?
