I just need to rant before i sleep cos im not sleepy yet.=p
I have just finished my second nite and baby not here wif me..=x
Yesterday nite i was so careless, i did not bring my key and was almost late..and yet she went down to my hse, took the stupid key from my dad and waited all da way til 1 just so that she could pass it to me..On top of tat, she bought me nasi lemak for supper cos she dislike the idea of me munching koko crunch..sweet rite?
Maybe tat explain why she couldnt wake up..
Yesterday morning she waited for me, sent me home had a little breakfast before she went off to work..After work she came down to send me to work..=/
What a sweet gal.
I wonder how some guys would not even do that for their gf..
In fact good guys and gals(as good as my gf) are getting extinct so im glad i have such a wonderful darling..=))
My night shift is pretty good..We started slacking since 4 am and so i stole some time to do my claim form..I never knew rachma was this humourous..Make me laugh so hard..
Now i munching on my koko crunch alone cos she not here wif me..=x
Another few random pics that was taken a few days back..lalala~~~
whahaha..doughlas 's precious fake hair ( ahh im too tired to remember how to spell tat word) makes me look like im from the 80s..
bleah i look so aunty..=x
ME and HER @ E BAR!
Tats for all cos i only manage to transfer those few when my phone batt died..LOLZ
off to sleep//
Playing: Justin timberlake - what goes around comes back around.
Hey boy, is she everything you wanted in a gal?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you boy
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong
Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?
Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...
What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around....
This is wat i realise and it such a sick game.
I dunno how else can my life be so screw up..Those who have heard my story can only shake their head cos it so pathetic can..I feel so pathetic abt everything..Abt the way i lost u and u lost her..And she got me!!
It really so sad to know i was really true to u and yet i was fooled.And now it just even impossible to be frens.
I dunno anymore and probably i just wanna let this go
I wanna close this chapter of my life and play no more game.I dun want to care wat others might say.
Cos now baby ger, it is just me and you..=)
I spend so much time wif her that im starting to miss my bed..Hehe..
That explain why i haven been bloggin too..
At her hse, when i got a sudden uniform fetish..lolz
So she took out her sec sch uniform to let me try..I haven got a chance to try those blouse wif skirt kinda uniform..ehh sad leh.
Today my baby birthday.
Hope she been happy.That silly ger actually lost her ang bao which lenny and co gave to her...-.-
Now she off to work and soon is gonna be my turn..Im super sian can.Grr..
keke it is like 7.15 alrdy..And i haven eaten!!!
before i go..
A msg to my little angel.
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Thanks for always being there.
For catching me when i fall
Lending me a shoulder to cry on
Sending me to work
Waiting for me after work
And lastly for healing my broken heart..
I love you baby.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GER!
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
i don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye
im sorry//"Is this a month of breakup or wat?" she posted me this question..
No it not..It just u, me and him and maybe ur fren ter..
Today however i realise i see a number of broken hearted pple in my list..not like i care but hey im one of them..
My bLOG IS DEAD.
Cos my mood is dead..
Things gotten better but im still lost, i cant make up my freaking mind on wat holding me back.
Many a times i get really tired and had to really remind myself not to be so frickleminded..
Music smoothes my heart and soul..I still wish i can go and sing and maybe some audience please..lolz..
Watever it is, i have to remember how life cannot be so bad without that special someone..
LIFE IS STILL GOOD IF YOU WANT IT TO..That my new motto =p.
I want my old self back..
I want to believe in destiny and fate..
I want to be stronger..
and..
lastly if i could...
i still want u.
Could i put everything down to destiny?
Ever since i learnt to fight for something i want, it hard to just sit there and watch wat fate had in mind for me..
I dunno, im shacked, brokenhearted and insecure..should i still fight?After all it might be that one last chance that matters..
I dunno again..I pray now that GOD will guide me tru, be it for the better or the worst..
I guess i could still fight but wat is clearly belong to fate, i gotta let it go...
Haiz.
Can i not lose u??
Would a PLEASE help?
My day was still quite as depressing.But not so bcos i force myself not to..=((
I dun really know wat wrong or why im feeling so sad..I search for a reason and found one really logical one and another that has no link..
So here my reasons:
I think im depress bcos,
1)HE doesnt gave a damn to the way i feel (i just realise)..sorry but fcuk those foolish games..
2)SHE is always on my mind, thats something i cant explain..
3) Along wif the second reason, i got a feeling, im hiding my feelings that why im feeling terrible..Arggh..
4)It the same love triangle 2 yr back. except wif a slightly different player..=((
5)I really dun like the way i treat her..(is tat guilt?) but hey im not feeling good either..=/
Somehow i feel better typing this mess out..
A few conclusions i came out wif:
1) I guess i just want a lover i dont have to love..=/ (in other words i just want someone to love me)
2)Or maybe im sick of always ter...
3)I just want her!But i have no choice but to go..
In any ways, im addicted to this song: WAY BACK INTO LOVE.
Dedicated by her..
Everytime i hear this song,memories flood my mind..She really sweet, nice and all..I dun really understand why i have to give her up..Suddenly nothing make sense at all..
Im never a lesbian i guess.Just probably have an admiration for some gers..
Haiz.
I need more time..Probably a trip to church to seek forgiveness for the things i have done..
Whatever it is..I dun feel good and i think i really wanna meet up wif her again..
Missing her..=((
Its always like this..
When im sad, angry, feeling like shit..someone wif an inspiring nick (on msn) will msg me..And i will end up looking at the nick and ponder..
The first person was "......dont ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one u like will leave you for the one they love..."
Arggh right now it doesnt make any sense to me..
For a moment, i thought it appply to me...
Den again not really.....this is wat happen..
I think i left the one i like for the one i love..knowing that cos i did tat, i lost the one i love..How does that sound?
I know...
TOTALLY DEPRESSING!!
So wat did mama tell u abt not playing wif fire..??
Now i know..
Do not play wif fire...=((
I was back in sg at 1600 on the 12/04/07.
How time really flies..It barely feels like i just had a week of AL.Everytime when im wif her and him, a min seem like an hr and day become nite as soon as an hr..I dunno why time is flying this fast and im dreading this cos im not happy nor satisfied..Is NOT ENOUGH.
Im dreading to go back to work..Oh pls dun dread cos it just gonna be worst if u do so..:(
Anyway this time i will start posting the pics as soon as i get my hands on them.
I did not bring my camera this time cos apparently i haven got it fixed since the last time it screwed up on me..=/
I had my first snorkling experience, though it not perfect but it definately exciting..I love it! I want to do more of it but in better waters please..
I guess i went there to become a real big PIG.Was feeling totally lazy or probably depressed cos i was missing someone so badly and almost got driven nuts.
Vi darling say i definately gotten FATTER but she seem to love me even more for it..hehe..
Im glad they came to fetch me wif Vi darling hiding at the back seat to spring me a surprise..Went my house to unpack and to her hse to get her stuff..
Oh yes, my first time wif lift breakdown..Was scary..
Had nasi lemak at holland (according to her, it the holland .village nasi lemak).Went to his house to watch MUSIC and LYRIC.
FINALLY.
Was totally awesome! heh
Im gonna buy the cd for it!
Vi darling cooked me 2 of the Indomie and the other 3 packet was finished off for lunch..hehe..
On da way to work!
I would like to make her my personal model..Sometimes i wonder if the guys out ter gonna kill me..=/
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