ITs 1.23am!

Im not even in bed yet.You know wat im thinking.

I know, I know, I know...

Im still feeling fcuking guilty.Its sticking to me like glue.Cant get it out.If she meant nothing to me, i could have just shrugged it off.Im still praying that for another 5 weeks nothing would happen. I really pray, hope and wish. God please answer my prayer..I never meant to hurt her.FCUK!!!!!!

Okays, im gonna try to sleep. Half of me is persuaded by the devil in my head, their voices so tempting, another half is fighting.My head is gonna die of explosion wif this amt of voice..=(

I cant find courage anywhere.

Hope when i wake up. Someone or something would give me the strength to go..

=(

I gotta type this so that i can get it out of my system.

I feel so angry wif myself. I feel like a fcuking horrible person. If she knew the REAL truth behind wat i told her. I can prepare to lose a fren. Fcuk.

Trust me its horrible. It been in my head the whole day. Yet i feel fcuking useless cos i cant do anything except to cross my fingers.SIgh.. like wat the hell was wrong wif me. She right. I could have chose to keep quiet..Feel like killing myself u noe.UUUUUUrrrrRRggggGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Now im only praying i wun lose a fren. Damn im really rotten eh.Made someone else angry too. i hope she really meant it when she say let forget abt it..

Other than that, i had a really good evening wif baby.:)

We went tm for ding tai feng.Tried the beef noodles.. erm, so so only. Worth a try but definately not the second time, would rather stick to their yummy fried rice. And gosh dun ever try their minced meat siew mai..It is super bland.
Had their mango pudding.

We went arcade to play the cooking master. Jess loves it..lolz.And than it was time for our show at 11.10.

DRAG ME TO HELL.

Fcuking tramatised me can..Although some part seem retarded but the plot still good to me. Rating: 3.8/5
It took me a while to get that disgusting woman face out of my head la.. Got a lot of good movies coming up soon. EXCITEDDDDD!!!!

Although baby says the cinema stink. But i kinda like the seat. It allows me to curdle up like a ball..lolz.

Haiz been looking tru forums for good stuff. still dunno wat i should buy..=(

Nite!

I've alot to blog man. Pardon my previous post, i was enraged wif jealousy. It wasnt really abt losing the game which most pple tot that make me sad. I wish baby was nicer to me when we play tats all. So just now when we had a game which we still lost, i told him if we gonna get mad at each other again.. grab my hand so that we can both cool down.
I use Lich, Ray and Jess werent playing good at all plus the opposition team were abit more stronger.Me and baby din lose our cool so i guess im happy even though we lost.:)

Father's Day was celebrated on Sat evening. We went to have the curry fish head that Jess has been raving abt. Its at tpy. Sadly i cant tell u if it the best i have ever eaten cos i have no urge to eat spicy stuff. In fact i couldnt even finish my food.:(
The Otah is also nice. The only thing my tastebud loves the most is the chicken wing. Nice like those homemade ones.

















Baby new hairdo!! (taken at Ya KUN!)

Im not a happy person, i think.

Cos behind my head, i've been wondering how some pple can be super lucky. Get everything they want or dun even need..And yet me? Nothing..

It not fair u noe..I wonder why some dun have to slog so hard and yet i noe my path for me is a long road of hard work and pain.

Why some are so bloody pampered when i think im the only one who can pamper myself..

Fcuk LIFE IS DAMN UNFAIR.. YOU KNOW WAT??? I'm gonna try fcukng hard to replace wat i'm lacking!!!

And dun ask why me why i'm expected to be treated like a princess.. Cos simply i dun feel pampered and loved enough!If u dun want to do my way den F off cos i dun need a fren like u.. Im angry!! YES

JEALOUS? YES!!

FRUSTRATED??? DEFINATELY..


ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Im furious and seriously im going to sleep cos i dun feel i need waste my time on pple like YOU.

It 4am.. Im glued to the chair..suffering from backache from the way i sit..=x

I cant figure out how to put twitter here so end up wif a tagboard instead.Which i noe it pretty redundant..I mean who would tag? Well u might never noe..=D

It a tiring day. Circulating can be really draining. Abt 41 days to be exact, and i still haven type my letter.. Im LAZY..

And laziness spells doom!! I dunno how to instil DISCIPLINE into myself seriously..I know i will never be able to achieve great things even though i dream all the time!

DREAM DREAM DREAM, thats all i do.. And funny things i think of at times which can be really embarassing that i feel like throwing a shoe into my face..=/

I have put tons of pics wif the girls but haven been updating pics wif baby..=x

Shall do it soon i hope.

FOR NOW, what should i do on father's day? What should i BUY? RAHHHH~~

I NEED TO GO AND SLEEP OR I CAN FORGET ABT CUTTING MY HAIR!!!

Goodnighto! Need to prepare!

I'm startin to sneeze again..although its a terrible feeling,i'm hopin i can keep sneezin til i see dr k.

I'm 2/10. Dunno how am i to survive again for another 50days?my 20-days no mc plan was successful but de moment i start my first mc,it hauntin me like a drug.My lazy mind just wun budged and my heart cheer it on.
I find it funny how me and viki really "tries so hard" to convince ourselves and sometimes each other tat takin mc is bad.i love to confide wif her when i gets too scared and guilty..YES I DO FEEL GUILTY OK?

Its already 1030 and i'm waitin for jess to bath so we can have breakfast asap before i died of hunger.

Yay,i think i heard her stompin out to go and change.

I'm super broke.:(

At de back of my mind comes up wif another plan which momma will kill me,for a few times she wanted to confiscate my card already..

Lalala..bonus is coming,i promise i'll top up wif wad i use..

Kay gotta run.

Its kinda nice bloggin wif a phone.looks like you're just typin sms.:)

Have a nice day pple!;)

I wish i wish baby get his bike back again. Im getting so lonely staying at home, getting chased by my mom to go and sleep. Using this laptop tat doesnt have bluetooth and works like a snail (at times).=(

Sigh baby hasnt been in the best of luck recently.. i dunno why. I pray that all the evilness or bad luck or watever is causing him to be not tat lucky to go away..=x

Today is insane. I dunno why they still wanna torture me. Are they really sick up in their brains or wait, mayb they dun have one at all. I know it isnt right to have a "ORD" (acryomns used by eddy) mood but seriously la why should i bother?? WIll it benefit me in future?? NO!!

Anyway i amazingly escaped and someone not happy wor. I dun care la seriously, think watever u wanna think. Wat for i have to please u?

Been really shacked until now. But im not in bed cos im stucked eating 2 damn salty soya-sauced chicken drumstick (for 1 hr plus).. I wished i had rice but no i dun. And yes that is my dinner..Very cold dinner. My dad is amazed by how i can eat 2drumstick for so long! hahaha....

SHOPPED! Though i secretly praying very hard that i would still have 200 buck left in my bank.Bought 2 tops at 10 buck from cotton on! A blue plain dress that could benefit me in future! Grey leggings! Relvon Lipstick finally!Yes last but not least, my green tea bodywash.

Spent abt 80 bucks? Sigh. Baby's broke too! so i gotta watch my expenditure..

We shall go tru THICK and thin together ok?

I wanna go and sleep...=((

When eddy use to complain how his boss is horrible. I use to tell him doesnt matter wat, as long u do ur work well, its alright. He wun have a reason to step on u.

Being in this job, i realise it so wrong of my advice to him. I truly did not understand how chidlish bosses are, how unkind they can be and definately very selective.

And for now, i believe that majority are like wat i have describe. Minority really cares of their employees welfare.

Yet can i blame them for what they have become? YES! Because u can chose wat kind of leader u want to be. It becomes my problem when u become freaking unresonable.You want pple to respect and worship u? Try doing it the right way than. Dun resort to hypocritical means to do that..Cos everyone can pretend but everyone has a heart too. Their heart can chose to dislike u.

With that, i know i will carry that feeling of how u treat me til i walk out of this place. Its ok. I will remember to be smarter wif pple like u.

I should go and get ready soon. Breathe and forget. After all it like child play when u get angry wif a kid.

And Yes you're a kid! I dun want to be bother wif u.

I kinda find twitter fun to use..Lolz

When im lazy i can leave short msgs now and then..=)

Elective lists are getting long and crazy. Was circulating insanely at e-0-t.. Had a quick drink wif eddy at mac and den back home to see my 5 textbooks which the deliveryman came at 9am today.

Gonna have an early nite.

Will try to touch my books soon. Eddy is my tutor in account and Qin, econs...
Having mixed feeling regarding this studying thing..But whatever it is i know, i can grumble all i like but at the end of the 3 yrs, i wanna conquer everything that i am thinking is impossible now.

That is all i want now and hopefully it stays as my goal for the next 3 yrs.

3 cheers for myself.