This paper was another dieaster..
Oh wateva..seriously watever~

Things never go rite..not this week esp..not when i am taking my freaking exam anyway.
i am so looking forward to see my baby anytime of any day..but nvm is ok, baby needs personal space and so i'm giving all the freaking space and time he wants..one month! is tat enough for u..??

yeah all abt being there for each other, i send msgs telling u how much i need u and just want to spend quality time wif u since u r going away..to u it just doesnt matter..so much abt dreaming abt diff ways of spending peaceful quiet time wif u..well, i cant help dreaming while i'm suppose to study cos tat the only way to keep me happy..this seriously suck..

I know i'm always never there wif u..but now i'm back..where the da hell r u..
Patience is not wat i have..and seriously it draining me out..
Seriously i dun understand y should i bother while every time i bother, it hurts me so much to know u dun care anymore..=(
damn, i'm so freaking weak now but that cos i love u..asshole.


{*] I can hardly hear you say what should i do while u chose[*}

I'm so dead..just so dead..
i'm so lack of motivation, discipline..
Nothing is going in my empty head..I swear like ter is a protective mechanism tat bounces off every information tat i try putting in..oh no i so distracted.=x
nothing turn out well..well cos i overslp til 12 and delayed planning and all..
i think my slp have to be scarifice again..

sigh..and tmr i tot of resting after my paper..but baby aint free..oh well..

Somehow it seem like i cant spend quality time wif my baby..i got exams to revise and sit for and while baby got to paint his room and get stuff for his trip to aust..
why?? everythings comes together..


God bless me..
i've seriously tried..
haiz

today paper makes me mad in a happy way..i dunno..
Its is a damn difficult paper..i was hoping everyone agree wif me..=/
There was just too many things in my mind..too many chemical imbalances in my brain that i couldnt absorb the fact..simply cant..
oh well, baby says just as long i try my best can le..=x

I hope to be able to revise better tmr..LOLx
yes..betta go and get some rest yeah..

x===No, nO no..don't phunk with my heart===x

Before i begin my oncology revision, just wanted to say wateva i am feeling..so that i could study in peace..After bathing i felt better alrdy actually..

What is really love..?i wish someone could enlighten me on this..Shakin??
yess, i just read shakin blog..his post is well written..
Somehow i felt i'm just not a good person nor a good gf..
Do i really expect alot and give very little..?perhaps..
AM i clingy?when to me being close is a way of love..but the other party can sometimes take it for clinginess or stickiness..?
so baby i would just really like to tell u this..whether u read this or not it does not really matter cos it just my perception..perception of love..
Love is when u want to always be ter for a person isnt it? To be in love is to wish that u could spend every min n every sec wif tat someone isnt it??To love somone is when u want others to know u love the person no matter wat other thinks..?So when u go out, u have a typical protective behaviour of saying this person is mine..but of cos i do not mean tat giving the person no personal space or wat so ever..just the feeling of closeness..is this right?Or isit not?someone enlighten me pls..

sigh.oh well..this post is rather rubbish..cos i'm such a confuse person right now..

back to studying i guess..

*Top of the world* by The carpenters

I'm so dejected..i need a happy song like this to make me feel betta.
sigh..i need more motivation and discipline..I'm running out of time to study.Haven even file up my notes..oh well..and i think baby is angry wif me..sigh..wat you have is time but i do not have time for u..i really want to see u too..but i just hope u can b there for me automatically..i dun understand y do i always have to go and find u..

whateva it is, i gotta pull myself up and get it started..
In my last post i talked abt trying to be early but guess wat i woke up late again..it was like 7.10 alrdy on my hp...omg *faint*
Lab was slack?and tmr last lab lesson..can i dun go??sigh..
Oh well my 3 hr break was pretty useful..manage to write some notes in my empty book..
Went for the last oncology lecture..Ms kalama was gd..
Consolidation for nursing project is actually so unneccessary..i dunno y i have to be ter..
Ms ng just went tru abt the report writing..seriously i cant really be bother cos it over alrdy..

well oh well..i guess nothing is too late if only i stop wasting my time..

Somehow i think i have grow to be more independent..=/

Gosh, am i tired..guess probably not..had too much fun to begin wif..
So i guess i gtg do some revision before i call it a day.

I wash all my troubles and feelings wif singing..Sometimes it really help..
screamin or shoutin at the top of ur voice can actually make u feel betta..who gaves the damn hell if u sound good anot..yeah?=D
kbox just rocks my life!!

Hehe..went wif di di and JAson to sing..Before tat we ate at Carl's Junior..the burger damn big sia..haha..ate 3/4 of it only and the fries were too much..drinks can be top up..
Lena came to join us for a short while only..

Oh well..yesterday nite i was at lena house..funny thing was tat we both had our auntie's visit one after another..just cos of a mac flurry ice cream??haha...my came at 2 while hers at 3..
I was kinda worried y it came late and all..and den tat ger din wake me up when she going to work..i almost overslept..By the time i woke up was alrdy 8.45..i still had to go home put down my things and bathe..-.-'
worst of all, i had cramps and it was killing me as i struggle wif my bag to Posb bank to draw out money and walk all the way to taxi stand..almost die..Oh well, i skip pat lect..

this few days i have been taking cab..damn..i gtg learn the principles of being punctual...=X

It the beginning of a new week again.
baby has went back to camp for guard duty, di back to sch and me also back to sch.
Baby wants to be good this time, meaning no more mc for this weeks which also mean tat i wun be able to see him til friday..=(

Our report writing has become so last min..i wonder wat happen to it now..=/
i got a few new songs for myself which i want to add in my mp3..yipeee..=D

Oh this week, i shall be good too..Gonna copy all the notes i have missed cos i skipped lecture??
Gotta start preparing for the exams.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of It's over
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All I was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Dedicated To Terrence

I gotta announce i got such a wonderful bf and di di..
I'm so lucky i guess...dun want any other bf or di di..
i'm so so pampered and spoiled by them..whahah..=D

keke..not forgeting my two darlings as well..hmm gonna meet qin tonite really been so long since i saw her..we are catching the bruce gigglo thingy..
Just now went kbox wif lena, we sang our lungs out and den we hang ard tp central and saw Denise keller..
she really beautiful on stage..really fair and her hair is nice too..hmm went bumming ard and bum into ian..he is botak..hahah.funnny he looks betta when he bald..lolz

oh well..gotta go bathe soon..

baby, sorry?you're remarkably wonderful for being able to forgive me despite what i've done..
wun repeat my mistake again..i promie u..love you like how i love tons and tons of gold..hahaha.=)

Yes yes yes!! presentation is finally over..This is one last min project and yet we did pretty well.
So a pat on the shoulder for all 5 of us..XD

Things can get pretty boring when u noe everything is over..weeks after weeks its either projects or tests..
and den suddenly its all over..haha..but actually we still have a major exam to sit for in 2 weeks time so yeah cannot really say it all over yet..

Gosh..baby just called and things just dun go rite again.seriously i dunno wat wrong wif me..i just cant be direct..like as if when i say certain things my heart will explode..sigh..all i just wanted was to say tat its been a long time since we had dinner..so can we go and eat together..??but i dun think i can eat after tat anyway..
whateva...u dun seem to care anymore..so y should i? yeah, y should i?

this suck!!

i'm waiting for my mum to come home so that we could all go to chomp chomp to have dinner.
Its a special occassion though..its my elder sista b'day of cos.

Last night was crazy. to celeb lin b'day, we held it at suki yaki.There was really a variety of food and yes it include sushi.We took quite a lot of food also and so to prevent food wastage we play a game of numbers..the loser will have to eat something..haha.we ate for a total of 4 hrs.

I left earlier and met jessie and company at cb..yes, it was quite fun but the music wasnt really my kind.
This time wif fab's connection, things was kinda of good.We club til 4am..and den we went for supper but i din eat..We join nich and his fren which i din have such gd impression of..
reach home abt 6 and my dad was alrdy up by den..=x

I was so shack that i just wash up and slp immediately.

Its just so happening last nite..haha.

i came home really early today.. took a break frm everything and everyone.
So i just slept frm 1 plus til now..
And even now..i just dun feel like stepping out of my house..
I din noe my darling needs me..i hope she alright..maybe she alrdy found someone to confide to.

y this behaviour?? cos i kanna sore eye.. damn!
but i dun think it as bad as nich and fabian one..haha..
and i'm doing self care again meaning i not going to even use eye drops..gosh i dunno how long it will take to heal also..

For now i'm just really hungry..=/

and i got myself lots and lots of work to do..just wanted a little break to forget certain things.=)

everyone needs a holiday frm each other..yeah

This few days have been really crazy and busy for me..i hardly have enough rest..
so now although test is over..my leg is still itching to run out to play or just go out wif someone..but i decide my body needs the rest.The test was easy if i had study harder..lolx

Oh well, yesterday was kinda of wasted..cos couldn't absorb much too.And i was soo soo afraid of contracting sore eyes frm nich and fab..they both eyes also kanna..I was like so paranoid this morning..went to wash my eyes and refrian frm rubbin them...*shake head*

so now i just stay home and do my heat disorder project..wanna be a gd ger..
haha and i've been saving alot..lolx..but also starving alot as well..=x
Oh gosh..i hope money flows my way..i seriously need it..

i sick le..
sigh...

hmm.later going to sch for mental health tut den go home le..wat a short day..mayb going out wif fab later to study.
yesterday baby took care if me again cos i sick..he cook porriage for me and make tat ENO thingy for me..
Betta alrdy actually but my cough just came in today..

sian..