I thought i would have no date yesterday nite, was too tired to go out too late..In fact clubbing and singing is the last thing i wanna do bcos tat means i have to go home at 3 plus which is like plssss i need my sleep..

I was almost going to sleep..And den some nice person indirectly force me out of house..Sometimes i think i dun have to smeell nice when i meet him and you know why??Its becos his car smells so nice and strong i think it would have mask my BO..whahaha..okays just kidding..I dun stink cos i always put on my perfume yeah..

He drove me round sg..Okays not the whole of sg but to many places..But anyway that was wat i had in mind alrdy..To just be drove ard sg..It just so relaxing..Serious...

We ate supper at NUS after he give up trying to find couples making out..lolz
After that as we was passing by marina sq, i casually make a remark abt a certain view that i like..So he drove to some place and i could quite take some picts wif my hp which of cos din turn out well, but still i love the sight of tall buildings..am i nuts?

Sg at night..

And we thought we saw 2 cars abt to start a race..

Guess what, they din race...booooo...

Slightly after they left, there was one group of racing cars dash across..alot of themm like 6 or 7..OMG..let chase i suggest..
The journey ended when we chase after the racing cars, lost them and decided to head back home with Tai Zheng XIao- yi qian ling yi ye blasting loudly in the wind...How nice is that..After all we both love that song..XD

I woke up feeling so shack.I couldnt believe just as i was telling Vicky that i m getting tired of cleaning theatre and would much preferred other areas and true enough i m not cleaning the theatre but the STOREROOM..I thought it would be easy and fast..But Dream on...

I almost died carrying all the sets up and down..It so tiring..=((

After a hard day of work, went out wif xy, yy, cl and michelle..

Arty pic of YY

We shop, eat and i excuse myself home..It just too tiring to stay on...=x

Haha, this is suppose to be me lookin so tired but i guess i dun look nice or even myself..Cant stand my hairstyle now..Just waiting for it to grow..It making me look like somebody else..Although i dunno who..crapz

Inspire by last night scenery i decided to bring out my camera and snap pic again..but not of myself but of places ..=p

I woke up feeling like i had gain 2 kg..Arggh!!!!

I haven really been gorging myself with food except that i have been sleeping almost everytime i eat..im really lazzzyy..

The best part is i dun exercise at all..omg!!

i think i should start soon..=((

Anyway life has been good to me in a way, cant really grumble much, i guess it all pretty boil down to myself..

yep me,myself and i...

Just last night, i met up wif eddy...Boy, that guy grew up faster than me..Haha..
I felt like i wasnt talking to a immature 21 yr old, instead a 24 yr old guy..
I guess he must have been tru a lot while i was enjoying and playing all the time..
Cos as we sat down and talk over dinner, He laughed at me and shouted "Jasmine, that life!!"
-.-"

But nonetheless, he spend alot of time explaining to me abt profound theories of life..
In a way, i felt like i was slap awake by him..
Almost everything he said makes sense like why things happen the way they do..

Some how i felt like in future it isnt me giving him therapy but probably the other way round..haha..

After the enlightening talk, i went home and ......sleeep..whahaha..

But at least i dun feel so bad anymore..

Did i mention that sel and sal have already done their first single scrub yesterday..to tell u the truth, im itching to.The problem is...wait there isnt any problem..In fact i dun see why i cant do it..=/

I wun be laggin so far behind..will do it erm next week..?

I have been dying to go on a holiday..Me, xy and yy have been putting down the dates for our al next yr le..abit early rite..=/
Hopefully i get my al settle and we all can go on our first holidays together..XD

It FINALLY FRIDAY!

ENJOY!XD.

Im typing this bcos i still cant bring myself to bathe..(erm, not good when it just after a meal)o.O

Anyway i had a pretty good day wif nc p.l and h.g (the 2 pple i feel extremely comfortable wif), until i decided to do something which is to prepare trolley for the second case..Mayb im stupid or wat, i din think who would be doing that case..So happily, we search for the missing mayo stand and trolley..I scrub up and trying my best to do as fast as i can yet trying to be as neat at the same time..

The more things coming in, the messier i got..standard! cos i aint a neat person..And den, boom the door opened, i looked up and knew it doom time..I dun have anything against her, just that if i could, i will stay a 100m away from her..Im not scared of her and den maybe a little, but a pisces would rather avoid unnecessary tension...so peace how do i avoid her when im stuck there...?

No need to say, she saw me doing her trolley, she quickly rush to scrub up..zzzz

She doesnt trust me, like i will mess up her trolley and mind u i am 1/2 way done okays..At least i sat up most of my stuff on the mayo and yeah she quickly came in and demanded i gave her space..(i so small and she not that fat also...ZzzZz)

I swear i lost my mind and couldnt even fix a simple sarn saw..So she sarcasticly suggest i should leave her stuff alone and yet dun unscrub cos she doesnt trust my drapping..what the heell is that?

Nc p.l came in and ask me to unscrub since it so cramp and so she got nothing to say, so me being a little smarter asked H.G to counter check wif me my draping before i get out of her stupid sight..Dun worry, i trust myself..draping was all correct!Bravo..

Went out and was about to slowly degrown when p.l ask me to go help J.I thought i would see vicky there but i guess she went for break..I went in there, trying to figure wat i should start wif when J turned around and did the same thing but of cos in a more polite-yet-you-know-she-mean-dun-touch-her-things way..Zzz.

like FINE!WATEVER...

Went out and found things all done already..

I knew than that there is only one chance to make an impression, whatever it is, i definately have screwed everything up..

I have to go on everyday, ignoring the little talks, trying my best to not make a single mistake so that pple wun talk..I have to pretend i dun care when actually i really do abt everything..

Seriously i do.But what to do, i have to be strong..=/

I noticed Nc ang seem a little disturbed this days, not sure if she overstress or maybe something personal happened..Cos she dun smile at me everytime i greeted her and yet stupidly i still say "hi" each time i bump into her (of cos without any reply back).
And it almost affected me alot cos i knew she din like me and maybe being cold was just another way of proving it..Still i never fail to greet her..

If it is true that im gonna have a tough life, im certainly having it now..=((

MIch where are you, the shops are closing!!! argghh..

P.S: Happy birthday to all libra pple including, A.h, vicky, Nc alice and of cos not forgeting TOAD..(omg i haven got a gift for toad yet)

"HoLd yOuR tEaRs, No mAtTer wHat peOplE say..."
-F.I.R

Hmm,

it a sunday afternoon...getting late soon..Im still sitting here, stinking and surfing net..Today, i actually spend 1 hr in front of the comp reading a love story..And while reading it, it bought a lot of questions to my mind..abt myself of cos..

Ever since i started working, i started to have doubt about myself and my capabilities, my character..It makes me sad sometimes to know abt the person i am..Alot of time, i realise i took many things for granted that there will always be someone there for me..to help me, to catch me when im fall..Never did i realise there will be a day when i have no one..

Im blessed in a way that i had a good family who protects me alot,in fact i think i grew up being too over-protected,over pampered and spoilt..Although in a way, i never consider myself one until today...

I had really good frens that protect me from harm too..boyfrens that pamper me..they r nice people cos all they wanted to do was to make me happy..Mayb i have been receiving too much and din noe how to give..

I dunno how is it to make someone happy, how to think for others and how to protect others the way they protect me...

that me..not a very nice person..

i remember one nite, i couldnt sleep and had to cry bcos i was feeling too tensed up inside..I remember before that, i scolded micheal very badly bcos he din came in time to accompany me to buy my crocs..Although i knew how childish i was..i still kept scolding and nagging until he din noe wat to say..and for that fact tru out the whole journey i know he dun owe me that..He dun have to come wif me to buy the crocs, he is not obliged to..In fact if he did, is me owing him..

yet as i closed the car door, i remember him saying 'keep in contact".I felt confused by his words..Why he say that?im not going to stop talking to him just bcos of that..

And although i tried going to sleep, i cant..i felt like a horrible person..i din know who to call and wat to say..so i msged shawn.Hoping in some way i can get to talked to him like in the past where he would assure me like he could understand me..

But NO..he din..his sms were always abt "life being like that"..or abt time...I knew than i really wouldnt need him anymore in my life..And for that it going to be the last time i cried for him..
im going to move on..After ending my last msg wif him..I console myself to sleep..

That was the first night i ever made myself cried..i dunno what to do wif myself anymore..
Where was God?where was my gurdian angel?i cant feel them...

The next day, i couldnt smile..felt like a block of wood going to work..

You see, everyday brings different lessons..

I'll remember the pain i have to take just to grow up..For now, i guess i really need to grow up..

My goal now is to stop being so ignorant...=x

Anyway i have definately driften out of point..Let me share wif u a little secret which of cos isnt a secret anymore since im sharing wif u..

Maybe i have a pyschiatrist disorder that i spent my entire life self treating..or maybe in denial..Who knows everyone do..

The love story i was reading abt had a very interesting behaviour which the main character had..She believes she can curse..How many stories talk abt pple like that..?
But i guess pple like that do exist and im just one of them..

In fact,i used to think that im a cursed myself and whenever i cursed pple, it would come true..But of cos that thought dies off as i matured..
But even til now, it does feel real..Anyway i stop cursing too bcos of something someone use to tell me..cant remember what it is exactly now but yeah it helps.

=x

Anyway today is yy birthday..Happy birthday to her..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

yesterday we gave her a big surprise after work..So good to see her smile and blush..
The plan turned out way better than was expected..Ms chin was the unexpected part...haha
The cake was good..I never knew prima deli had such good cakes also..

i had to apologise for the lousy quality pics..The problem lies wif my hp, of all day and time, the lens chosen to be dirty..arrrggh..And i din use photoshop to edit..=(

This makes me wonder, next yr is my 21st birthday..I doubt i going make it special..=x
I somehow dread it...arggh i always dread my birthday one..

Hmm, i had been feeling really shacked after the flu jab, not to mention muscles ache as well..Oh anyway sis Ang was the one to give me the jab...Not painful at all i tell ya..:)

All the fatigue doesnt allow me to go clubbing so we had a plan to sing..This time i got Qin and company..Was pretty fun..=)
hehe, thanks to everyone..

I realise i starting to look very different in make up..Haha, wif all that makeup tips from xy..I look so...i dunno different i guess..Anyway i love my new magnetic necklace..=))

Tmr is monday again. ><

Anyway yesterday, i was doing blog hoping and found a really interesting website on yy's fren blog..

Hmm, i found something really true abt wat they said..I din read everything but could roughly get wat they meant in the first part..

A little part to illustrate the point i have been pondering abt.. hmmm..

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

so does that means platonic relationship dun exist between man and woman at all..???oO

Can find out more..It a great site for great flirting techniques especially for guys..*lolz*

Check:http://www.laddertheory.com/

Today got to scrub again but still need tons of improvement..sometimes i feel so tired like i cannot go on anymore..haiz am i that bad..?*hmphf*

Anyway beside the chocolate fondue we had, there was mudpie and countrypie..*yummy*

Micheal got sick out of all that chocolate..Who ask him so greedy..whahaha..

I realise im very easily cheered up..haha, just gave me dessert and i will smile for you..*lolz

Like this..

hehe.

This week have been pretty ok..Mayb bcos i only scrub once and spend most of my time catching up wif my circulating work..I still suck at watever im doing...That wat they all say..

I think im catching up very fast..

Friday nite has been good..Lena , mich, edison, alvin and me had a great time at dbl O.I know the guys drank alot but exactly how much im not sure..cos i was only wif them 50% of the time..Haha..

Anyway just as expected i felt like i gonna faint any moment the next day..

Was scheduled to clean the steriliser room..After alot of work done, i felt better and more energised..wat more we got food downstair waiting for us..
I like the beehoon and the sauage..haha.

Last night...i felt lost..Was suppose to go clubbing wif the gers but was feeling so tired..I only back out when lena called to say her (stupid) bf change his mind so she wun be going..And den Qin got angry..I just felt stuck in the middle of lena, qin and myself..

In the end i chose to go wif myself..It ridiculous, both of them have their bf and their bf 's frens..
Why would i want to go ter and feel awkward..So i rung mich and we went HK cafe to eat..I felt really contented..for i had a good slp after the dinner..

Now is sunday, and i feeling like kind of down cos dunno wat kind of scolding tmr will bring..
Im not perfect, so it easier to spot every mistake i make..But definately not wat kind of mistake i wun make..That human favourite thing to do isnt it?

Oh well, i had a super craving for chocolate fondue now..And things seem to be working out fine..(everyone is ok wif it)So hopefully after i eat it, i wun be so sad that today is sunday..

Anyway ive decided to move on in life..I have been missing alot of pple in the past.basically all my ex-bfs..Hmm dunno if im feeling lonely or wat..But whenever i think of the future, it seemm very bleak, like i can never meet someone whom i can fall in love again..sad rite?

This days the guys i know cannot make it(in my list) =x

so where have all the good men gone to..?

It sad to think that it really hard to be frens again after a break up..It has been months alrdy yet we cant face each other and go out as frens or have a casual conversation even?Why must 2 pple so in love before become complete stranger after a breakup.

Well, i guess i cant force them if they want to stop associating wif me..Just disappointed i guess..mayb i should just move on.really move on..

i guess im just feeling empty inside..

I guess yesterday really helps....Cos i manage to survive tru the day..It was pretty ok, better than any of the days i ever had..Although i receive something very disappointing in the morning..haiz.

I cant be confirmed!! gotta defer another 3 mths..*sad*

That means i gotta stop daydreaming and work even harder le..I still dun believe i cant do it..*humphf*

The pics for my grandpa birthday..

XD

It quite a happy get-together i must say..But i dun think my grandpa really enjoy much..Quite sad sia, this time he seem like he gotten worst..Only could remember Jessie name..When he was asked to identify me or Toad..he kept saying "jessie".

And he looks super blur and quiet..his gait is affected too..Haiz..Quite sad..Some how i wish i could rewind back to the time when i could talk to him again..When he could smile when he see me..-i miss him.

Sorry to say, but to me is rather sad, is like this dementia is making him "lose" his soul.. The good thing is that he still pretty pink in health..so..=D

We had two tables like how it is always in the past..one table for the children and another for the adult..Haha..

You can call him little ben.
-looks alot like his mother..



School belle (when she not wearing Jessie's geeky specs)*lolz*
We were all having a big discussion on MS..lolz.

There were really alot of food..but when it came to the chicken..Darcy did stupid things..*rofl*
The waitress was so turned off that i think she did stop serving our table for a moment..
Maybe growing kids really have a lot of curiosity..for he was interested in the chicken head..-.-
So while everyone grab their favourite part of the chicken, he grab its head..I wun go into details with wat he did to the chicken head but anyway it made us laugh really hard..

*posing*

Can you believe the moment he put the head in his mouth, Van shouted "hey let me take a pic of you"..and den suddenly everyone started shouting "me too"..I joined them too..So while some digged for the camera phone, i digged for my camera..hahaha..

Grew famous overnite..whahaha.

okays, i agree this was seriously crazy..haha, but without crazy things, ter is no fun..
Attention to my grandpa..haha..

There are like tons of photos..That i dun really know wat to do wif them..lolz

im crazy..



sill crazy..

*Cousins forever!*



My grandpa really cannot live w/out my granny.



Happy Birthday once again..

Gotta run..

My weekend have been rather good.

I had a family dinner on sat to celebrate my grandpa birthday which was really alot of fun and just as i was dreading work tmr, i finally had someone who could help me vent out all those frustrations that was kept inside of me for nearly 1 mth..

Thanks Mich! XD.

Im looking for pple to go holiday wif..haha..I want to go redang!!But who will be free on 13/11 - 19/11??

Shall blog more abt my grandpa birthday..It so good to see all my mischievious cousins..Im dying to celebrate halloween wif them..im sure it be fun.+DD

Tats all.

Tata.

PART 2
I actually wanted to go back and sleep after eating..haha..can u believe wat a pig i am..
So i decide not to as it only cultivate the laziness in me..which i think i am alrdy very lazy..
I dun feel like reading my notes YET..mayb after a good sleep..or mayb i will just force myself later after taking a nice bath..

I realise i have become such a sad person..but i only had myself to blame..=(
I've changed so much tat i think only terror and loneliness filled my heart everyday..I cant really remember when was the last time my heart actually lighten up..Den again dun get me wrong, i do not need a bf but maybe someone who can be there for me i guess..I just cant seem to get anyone to talk to, everyone has their own troubles and i guess it not right to put mine on top of theirs.

I tend to chose who i want to talk to..so den again who dun..=((

I decided enough is enough, i will start buckin up again..but it very tiring..mentally and emotionally..It like everyday i come home wif a heavy heart and sometimes wif a heavy mind..If you know wat is it like to be feeling this everyday you will understand that even if i was to have 6 hrs of sleep everyday it isnt enough for me..

I think wat i need is the attention of someone who matters to me..to cheer me up and encourage me..But i think that is not going to ever happen..haiz.

Okays enough of sad things, i guess i just have to be there for myself..=x

Here are the pics from my camera..^-^

i think i was too overexcited abt my first camera that i take watever i could take..haha..

At lao pa sa..

Ms Vanity!



Me looking fatter den ever



I like pics in sepia..

The camera is 6 megapix..nice and clear..Haha..And they also got 15 BS!^^,


At Partyworld..

It was just us at first!



Tommy engrossed in singing while Lena looking sweet in the middle..



i think they sing songs from jay quite well..^-^

I miss group pics!



A clearer pic of Mich and his colleagues..



Lena singing so passionately..*lolz*



Messy-tired look..



I was being lame wif the lamer..




I love her!!
P.S: Mich looks so funny behind me..tat face! whahaha..

I still haven figure out how to use the camera yet..so those 'blue' images arent really tat clear..=x

ZzzZzz..it alrdy 10 plus.i am going to slp..brain very dead and im feeling extremely lazy..It seems so scary to know how days pass by so fast..-.-

I have been looking forward to my sat..Partially bcos i thought that it wouldnt be a stressful day at work and secondly i get to forget all my frustrations and truly enjoyed myself just for a day and be myself..

However, i guess the day went pretty alright but wasnt tat fantastic..bcos the snowball of stress, frustration and sadness have been too big for me to let it go and truly enjoy myself..=(
Beside my morning din go tat well too..I was assigned to check PAPR.and i actually forgot majority of the things..So yeah make a lot of mistakes..and even if ter was something i did, they will say i nvr do..So yeah watever la..Im very tired to keep trying not to make mistakes and yet get put down all the time..

The nice thing was tat sis Ng treat us to nasi lemak..While XT help to buy..A big thanks to them..or else i will be starving my whole morning.

I tried to hurry after work and end up bumming into HR and Vick at the train station.
Hmm a little uneasiness but i guess everything still went fine..I made Mich wait very long again..hahah..
Cos my sis got to the bathroom first and while waiting i was playing the songs from my oldtime favourite disc..I finally found that Inspirational moment cd!!!

All the time i was thinking that the IT fair was at suntec and end up being laughed at by Mich for being stupid...-.-
Joe caught up wif us in the expressway and so we arrived together and damn, we parked so far that i had to walk a very long distance to EXPo.. Pardon me lo but my high heels isnt good for walking long distance..=/

sianz..



heyy, im bored!



Joe is checking out the chiobu wif the mini short skirt and high boots.lolz

Anyway it was damn packed like sardines..We went to check out my camera first..^-^
Joe helped me wif all the quiries..and it was only a tough decision between canon and casio.
We walked around and they all each bought something.. So did i..Shall do a introduction of my new camera in my next entry or something..haha.

It was alrdy 6 by the time we got out of tat place..We went to pick lena up at Funan before heading down to Lao pa sa to have our dinner..There were satays.!!! *yummy*

Went down to party world and had a pretty great time there..What to do, i just love to sing..Unsuccessful attempt to sing "ben lai"..lolz

Here is Mich looking pretty happy!



When they sing, ur mouth drop..lolz



Lena acting cute again.-.-

Mich 2 fren came much later and sang like a pro (that i think they should join superstar) and after tat me and lena got kinda sian alrdy..LOLz.
I was playing wif my new camera at least 40% of the time..

Totally lovin' it!XD