Anyway i realise there alot of things i wanna say..
Here the ranting goes..
1) Remember abt that ger i told you how i would like to avoid her very much?
I use to have a dream and that was one of the rare dreams i actually remember after waking
up cos i usually dun..Anyway in that dream, i dreamt she finally talked to me like how she would to my frens..Nice and not with that angry face like i owe her 1 million like that..
I woke up feeling happy but yet disappointed cos it not going to happen (i thought) and spent the entire morning thinking of how good is it if my dream would come true..
Until i saw her later in the afternoon and realise it all but just a dream..But deep inside i tried to think positive and pray really hard that ter will be a day she will talk to me..
And friday just as fate would allowed it, i was put together wif salwa, Her and sis ang at M5..I really wanted to cry that morning cos i thought that gonna be my day-BAD.I even sms Micheal and told him abt feeling like cinderella wif the stepmother and stepsister..
Surprisingly my stepmom wasnt that mean to me and SHE started talking to me!!!=D
I was feeling everything i felt in my dream, i felt her warmness and her friendliness and most important i saw her smile..I worked hard that day and sis ang even gave me her coupon..I felt really happy..I hope things would stay the same or maybe even better..=p
2) Sometimes i feel like i have no frens..Just like we buy clothes for different kind of occasions or style, i find different kind of frens for different kind of interest and probably different kind of purpose too..Im sure everyone does..
At work, although i dun get along well wif my discipline pple, i had frens like xy and yy which is enough to make my day.Outside, i had Lena, Qin and micheal mostly and many fair weather frens..Is that not enough???
I still lack of one thing, i lack of someone whom i could tell my deepest secret, someone who can always be there wif and for me..I as well find a bf right?No, i want to learn how to be a good fren to someone who is just as nice to me..
Sorry, i really missed shawn after he left, life never felt the same..No matter how i tried to move on time and time again..I miss him probably bcos i feel that he was the only person who could sit down wif me and talked to me..I dun love him in that sense just really miss his company..
So after thinking tru, i thought i need to expand my social circle and really couldnt find any way to, i noticed he was playing wholivesnearyou and decide to play that again..
After all i thought it be fun to find that someone tru there so that we both dun have to travel just to meet up to talk abt sillly matters..
I dun meet up wif any tom dick and harry, apparently mayb i was desperate but definately not enough to get hook wif just anyone..
I realise you can always be desperate enough to date just anyone who likes you but when it comes to finding a best fren, i dun think u can rush it..So i took my time and special insituition just to find someone whom i thought would meet my criteria..
Added some to my msn to relieve my boredness but wif no intention to meet up..
I only met one of cos and he was also the only one i initate the conversation wif bcos i thought he shared the same interest as me..
Arggh that make him special in a certain way and did i tell you how MCP he is..sometimes cannot stand it also..But overall he is nice in a certain sense..
The thing is what wrong wif meeting online pple to widen ur social circle..True, you have to be wary of all the wolves hiding in a sheep clothing but i dun feel like i make very bad judgement and even if i do so, i will just stop everything..
Just yesterday, my new fren met up wif Lena..And she bruised my ego really bad..I dun really understand what they both were talking..But he was acting like some nut case and so was she..They picked on me cos i was the common person..Wat nice frens i had..Or mayb secretly they like each other..I dunno..Anyway she say something almost as simliar as "wah, you so old alrdy still play barbie doll"..
I was like 'DoT,dOt,dot...'
Look who talking, she make net meeting seem like some kind of a no-no-you-shouldnt-be-doing-that-now-you-know-how-old-are-you-now..
Whatever it is, their words hurt..They seem to dug tru something i hide really deeply..my loneliness.
I almost wanted to cry, ask him stop the car or something or mayb just buried myself..
I felt embarrass like i was doing something that little kids are doing..and the worst part they were making mean remarks abt me being desperate to find a bf..Like wat the hell..All i wanted was a buddy to replace shawn not a bf..=(
Im hurt as a matter of fact, i almost wanted to throw out every of her dirty little secrets back to her but decided to stop..
She has her sad past and it really hurt and i dun understand why she cant seem to see that i just need to find that someone whom i could really talked to..I cant open up easily like she..arggh/
Luckily, we reached her house and the embarassing topic ended.
That why i say sometimes i feel like i have no one to turn to..
And i missed shawn really bad last night..Going to sentosa only makes me remember the fun time i had wif himm
3) I woke up today wif toad screamin at us to wake up cos our hse was in a mess and as she was grumbling on, it remind me how lazy and untidy i am..I seriously gotta change...
Anyway here the pics i took last nite..I still dunno how to use the camera..he however took most of the nicer ones..And man, the merlion look scary at night...
*goosebumps*
Hear the lion roar..
It reminded me of the clock tower in Spirited away~
Another view of it..
mayb i shouldn edit it..=/
Does it look like some place in America??
It used to be Asian Village, now it haunted village..*lolx*
some hotel lobby..
I love the decorations on the trees.
The last pict before we cross the bridge and out of sentosa.
ME,Myself and I =)
Going to nap..zzz..It sunday!
